76 Word Challenge
by NoShoesNoShirtNoSheldon
Summary: 76 different words, 76 ficlets. SLASH. Phineas/Ferb, Perry/Heinz, Buford/Baljeet. Because who doesn't love Bujeet?
1. Chapter 1

**I talked my parents into writing down a bunch of random words that could inspire little ficlets. The words they provided me were less than inspiring, and a little repetitive. And, to be frank, some of them are quite rude. Didn't think my parent's had that in them. Oh well, where's the fun without a little challenge? I'll try to do all 76. **

**This will probably end up being Phinerb, but probably a little Bujeet in there too. Any romance will be completely slash. I despise writing het, unless its to make fun of it. **

Xoxoxo

_Perfume_

Buford liked his apartment the way it was. Dirty clothes strewn across the floor, magazines piled up in a half-assed attempt at order, dishes unwashed in the sink. It suited him just fine.

He liked his relationship with a certain nerd the way it was. Baljeet was no longer afraid of him, his bullying reduced to light teasing, cautious flirting but nothing coming from it. He didn't want that to change. He hated being tied down.

'_Change_,' he thought miserably. '_Is unavoidable._'

And so it was. After a little too much to drink, he'd crossed the line. He'd woken up with Baljeet in his arms in the early hours of the morning with no memory of how he'd gotten there. His head hurt, so he went back to sleep.

And the next time he awoke, his bed was empty. He sat up and looked around, and his eyes widened in horror. His room was pristine. That goddamn nerd had actually had the gall to _clean _his apartment. Buford pulled on a pair of boxers and wandered into the kitchen, where the dark-skinned man was cooking something. The smell of it clashed with something else, and he wrinkled his nose as he stepped closer. 'Is that perfume?'

'What is wrong with perfume?' Baljeet asked, smiling over his shoulder at him. 'You needed a bit of change.'

And watching him, Buford murmured, 'maybe I do.'

Xoxoxo

_Cats_

Ferb had always been a cat person. He'd never been fond of dogs, having been bitten once when he was very young. Cats, however, reminded him of himself. They were independent, never barking incessantly and content to curl up in front of a fire after a long day of lying in the sun.

Ferb had always been a Phineas person. The smaller child had been like a bright ray of sunshine in his quiet, dreary life. He never smiled, hardly talked since his mother died. Phineas drew him out of his shell. He gained a brother, and a friend.

But when the time came for their little family to get a pet, neither of them could agree on what to get. Phineas was determined to get a dog. Ferb was just as determined to get a cat. The tiny children had their first ever spat, and while Ferb was perfectly content to sulk, Phineas could never stay mad for long. 'We'll compromise,' he said, smiling widely. 'We'll get the platypus.'

Ferb never really understood how a platypus was a compromise, but he was a Phineas person, and as long as he had his younger brother, he didn't need a cat. Phineas was all he needed.

Xoxoxo

_Colours_

'Why can we not just tell them, Buford?' Baljeet sighed, burying his face into the pillow. The larger boy lay beside him, and kept silent. When Baljeet lifted his head and peeked over at him, he saw the sheets had slid down so Buford's chest was bare to the cold room, and he sighed again, pulling the blankets over them both. 'Is it because you are ashamed of me? I mean, I know I am not that special, but-'

'Don't ever think that,' Buford snapped, rolling over to face him. 'I could never be ashamed of you.'

'Then tell me why you will not tell your parents we are dating!' Baljeet lay on his back, frustrated. This was not how it was supposed to go. They were supposed to be basking in the post-sex glow, not arguing. Buford refused to answer yet again. 'Is it because your parents do not like me?'

Again, no response, but just the slightest intake of breath. Bingo. 'That is it, is it not? They do not like me. Is it because I am not into sports, like you are? Or because I am too small, or-'

'It's because of your skin colour, okay!' Buford took the smaller boy's hand, meshing their fingers together. For the first time, Baljeet studied the difference in their colouring closely. His heart sunk. 'My parents aren't all that supportive of us even spending time together because they're both racist fucks,' Buford explained gruffly.

'I see.'

'I'm sorry.'

'It is okay.' But it wasn't, and it never would be.

Xoxoxo

_Arse_

Ferb remembered the first time he ever saw Phineas as anything other than a brother. They had been building some kind of machine, the details were a little hazy, and he'd walked into the garage to find Phineas bent over one of the large boxes, trying to reach something right at the bottom. Ferb had frozen, his eyes glued to his younger brother's arse. Looking at the boy's tight pants made his own feel rather tight as well, and he'd hurried out before Phineas even realized he was there.

It was that red-head's damn arse that started it all, and years later, he'd still walk in on his step-brother bent over random things, and Ferb swore the guy was doing it on purpose. When he was younger he'd run from the room. This time, he'd walk forward, press his hips into that lovely arse and lean over to whisper in Phineas' ear something dirty.

He'd laugh as Phineas stiffened, and then straighten. But when he would try to turn around, Ferb held him in place, determined not to be parted from one of his favourite parts of his boyfriend. 'Ferb,' Phineas would whine, trying to wriggle away. 'For God's sake, someone will see us.'

'Let them,' Ferb would mutter, lowering his head and pressing a soft kiss to the red-head's throat. 'It's your fault for bending over.'

And Phineas would laugh, and everything would be perfect.

Xoxoxo

_Toenail_

Buford hated singing. He felt as if it bared his soul to the audience, and that was just not manly. No way. No how. Of course, he couldn't really expect to be manly when he was dating another guy. A tiny, nerdy guy, for that matter. But Buford was the kind of guy who never got too involved, never revealed his real self, and Baljeet had apparently gotten sick of it.

'I want to know you, Buford,' he'd scowled. 'Not this tough guy mask you wear.'

And despite his hatred of singing, he knew it was the only way to please Baljeet, and he was willing to do it. But only for Baljeet. And only once.

He picked an appropriate song, and when he'd plucked up the courage, he sang it while they were hanging out in his bedroom one day. He played his guitar along with it, and when he'd finished, Baljeet was blushing, and smiling too. He went over and sat on Buford's lap, and the larger boy buried his face in Baljeet's neck.

'When the moon looks like a toenail?' Baljeet giggled. 'Really?'

'Shut up,' Buford grunted, but he was smiling a little, too.

Xoxoxo

**For anyone who's interested, the song he sang was Introducing Me, by Nick Jonas. It's my all time favourite song right now. Funnily enough, I found it through another PAF slash fic. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Welcome back! So, I decided to ditch the words my parents gave me and got my friend Ashlee to write me a list. They are much more inspiring, and I hope you guys will like. **

Xoxoxo

_Breakdown_

He knew it was all for show, none of it real. That it was for their own protection, but that didn't stop it hurting. He stood with his arms hanging at his sides, fists clenched, body tense. He was aware of the many eyes on him, but he stared at the ground silently as he waited for this torture to finish.

'Look at the little nerd,' Buford chortled, reaching out to push Baljeet's shoulder. The smaller boy stumbled back a step, but otherwise did not react. 'He's too much of a pussy to even stand up for himself.'

The other bullies who were standing next to him all laughed, and began to join in, jeering and snickering at the tears welling in Baljeet's eyes. After a few moments, Buford's sadistic grin became rather forced, and he shoved Baljeet. 'Oh, whatever. He's not even worth it. Come on, let's go.'

They began to leave, and the students in the hallway copied them, filing out and leaving Baljeet standing next to his locker alone. He had been going to get out his Chemistry book before the band of bullies had surrounded him. Sniffing, he turned his back on his locker and went into the closest boys bathroom, locking himself in one of the grimy stalls and sitting on the ground with his back against the stall door, letting his head fall into his hands and giving in to the tears, feeling them wet his palms.

He knew it wouldn't be easy, secretly dating the school's hardest bully. But he hadn't expected it to tear him up so much, hearing Buford's insults after everything that had happened between them. He'd agreed to it, of course. It had seemed smart, having Buford continue to bully Baljeet so the rest of the school didn't catch on. But feeling as if an imaginary hand was squeezing his heart, he didn't think it was so smart anymore.

Sobs escaped him, despite his attempts to keep quiet. He couldn't control it, sobs and hiccups filling the bathroom and making it hard for him to breathe properly. Dimly, he heard someone enter the room and knock on his stall door. 'Baljeet,' Buford said softly, and the squeezing on his heart grew stronger. 'Baljeet, let me in.'

'Go away,' he managed to get out in a strangled voice. He didn't want to see anyone at that moment.

'Baljeet..' he heard the sound of Buford's back hitting the stall door, and then a squeaking noise as the large boy slid down so he was sitting on the ground too, leaning against the door. 'I'm sorry, 'Jeet. I'm so sorry.'

Bujeet said nothing, because there was nothing to say.

Xoxoxo

_Rain_

'It's raining.'

Ferb glanced at Phineas, who had spoken. The redheaded teen was standing beside him underneath an overhang just outside the school doors, staring up at the overcast sky. They'd both stayed behind to help one of the teachers sort out a tap that was spraying water all over the classroom, and now the school was deserted. Phineas tore his eyes away from the sky to look up at the taller teenager.

Ferb arched a brow at his younger brother, waiting for the inevitable. Phineas stared back, and Ferb knew that the smaller boy hated asking for anything. It made him feel selfish. But, for once, the green-haired teen didn't offer. Every now and again, he liked to watch the boy squirm.

Phineas sighed. 'I forgot my umbrella, okay? Can we share, please?'

In answer, Ferb opened his umbrella and handed it to Phineas. The red-head let out a soft 'ohh...' and looked up. 'This won't fit both of us. Never mind then.'

But when he went to hand it back, Ferb shook his head. A slow smile crept onto Phineas' face and he reached out to punch his brother's arm gently. 'Thanks, Ferb.'

Ferb didn't care he'd probably get sick from walking home in the rain. All he cared about was that Phineas was happy.

Xoxoxo

_Cut_

The first thing he'd noticed when Buford had walked through the door was the blood. It was dripping down one side of his face, and yet the teenager seemed pumped, almost as if he was completely unaware. Baljeet jumped off the bed, his eyes wide. 'What happened to you?' he couldn't keep the worry out of his voice, and he hurried over to Buford, going on tip-toe to try and see the cut on the taller boy's forehead.

'It was fantastic,' Buford grinned, reaching out and ruffling his nerd's hair. 'Guy didn't even know what hit him.'

'You mean to say I waited here, alone, in your bedroom, with your mother checking up on me every five minutes and showing me your baby pictures, and you were out there having a bloody fight?' Baljeet asked coldly, his eyes narrowing.

'Yup,' Buford didn't even seem to notice the other boy's anger, and he pulled his shirt off, pressing the fabric to the cut in an attempt to slow the bleeding. 'Trust me, he is way worse off than I am.'

'You are an idiot,' Baljeet snapped, yanking Buford's shirt from his grasp. 'That is probably covered in bacteria. Sit down on your bed and tell me where the first aid kit is.'

'Uh, in the bathroom, 'Jeet,' Buford blinked, unused to the angry, bossy side of his best friend. As the small boy left the room, the bully did as he was told, sitting heavily on his bed and looking around. It wasn't long until Baljeet returned, first aid kit in hand, along with a damp paper towel.

'Imbecile,' he chided softly, moving forward so he could use the damp paper towel to wipe the blood from his friend's face. He was standing between Buford's legs, so slight in comparison to him. The bully blinked up at him, trying to look innocent. 'Moron,' the Indian muttered.

'What's wrong with you, 'Jeet? You seem kinda pissed,' Buford winced as Baljeet took out an antiseptic wipe and began cleaning the cut. 'Ow! Hey, be gentle.'

'No, I shall not be gentle,' the smaller boy snapped. 'If you were selfish enough to go out and get into a fight while I waited back here, worried out of my mind, then you do not deserve to be treated gently.'

'Woah,' Buford reached out, wrapped an arm around the slight waist, and pulled Baljeet down onto his lap. The dark-skinned boy let out a cry of protest and tried to squirm away, but his bully only tightened his grip. 'Sorry, Baljeet, didn't think you'd mind. I got a little carried away.'

'And what if you had been seriously injured?' Baljeet gave up trying to escape, instead continuing to clean the cut and attempting to ignore the way his cheeks heated and his stomach twisted. He put gauze over the cut, securing it in place with medical tape. Probably not the best job, but it'd have to do.

'Aww, come on, 'Jeet,' Buford grinned. 'Don't you have any faith in me?'

'You are completely idiotic,' the boy hissed.

'And you're cute when you're mad.'

Baljeet flushed darker, trying to ignore how a simple sentence made the butterflies in his stomach go crazy.

Xoxoxo

_Relocating_

'Don't go, please,' he whispered softly. His voice was ripped away from him by the wind, but he knew the other man heard, understood. They always understood each other. The rain was soaking them both, but neither of them tried to move inside. The smaller one rested his head on the taller one's chest, shivering in his embrace.

'Phineas,' Ferb had to talk louder than he liked to be heard over the wind. 'You're the one who urged me to take this offer in the first place.'

'I know,' Phineas shuddered, trying to fight back the panic clawing its way up his throat, burning the back of his eyes. 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I'm doing this but I can't live without you.'

'It's only a few hours away,' Ferb cupped his cheek, forced the redhead to look up at him. 'And this job will only last a few months. We could use the money, Phin.'

'But we don't need it,' the tears were forming now, pooling in his eyes. He gripped Ferb's jacket tightly, forcing back a whimper. 'Please don't go, I'm begging you.'

Ferb's grip on him tightened as his resolve weakened. They'd been like this for almost ten minutes now, and each whispered plea smashed a little bit more of his determination. 'This could be the job opportunity of a lifetime. Your words, Phineas. Why are you so needy all of the sudden?' he asked, pressing their foreheads together.

'We've never been apart, Ferb,' Phineas closed his eyes, hoping his brother wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the two hot tears sliding down his face and the cold, stinging raindrops doing the same thing. 'I thought we never would be, even for a few months,' his breath hitched as he fought back the sudden urge to sob. 'Please.'

'Phineas,' Ferb whispered, pressing his lips to the man's forehead. He'd noticed the tears. Of course he had. 'Don't cry.'

'But you're leaving me,' the redhead sniffed. 'You're my soul mate, and you're leaving me.'

'I'm not leaving you for very long,' Ferb frowned slightly, pulling his boyfriend closer. 'Stop crying.'

'Then stay with me,' Phineas' eyes opened, and the bright, watery blue met concerned green. 'Please.'

Ferb leant down, pressing his lips gently to the other man's, anything to stop the tears that were shredding his heart into pieces.

'I'll stay.'

Xoxoxo

_Elements_

Buford stared down at his homework, wishing it would just go away. He could never understand anything, and it made him feel dumb, which just pissed him off more. It didn't help that his best friend (nerd? frenemy?) was one of the smartest guys he knew. His grip on his pen tightened, and he let out an impatient growl. 'How am I supposed to answer any of this?'

Baljeet glanced up from his own homework, frowning. He scooted closer to Buford so he could glance over the paper in front of the much larger boy. He hummed for a moment, before looking up at his friend. Homework was his thing, and he felt comfortable enough to smile and tilt his head. 'What are you having trouble with, exactly?'

'The symbols of the elements,' Buford grunted, pointing with his pen to the first question. 'I don't know which elements they represent. How the hell am I supposed to know what K is? '

'Well, first of all, K is Potassium, and second of all,' Baljeet frowned slightly. 'We were supposed to memorize the symbols last year.'

'I was otherwise occupied,' Buford sneered. He was growing rather annoyed at the way he was talking- otherwise occupied? Really? If he talked like that in front of other bullies, he might just get a beating. He spent way too much time with nerds.

'With what?' Baljeet asked curiously.

'Kicking your ass,' Buford grinned, and Baljeet rolled his eyes.

'Oh please, you never actually hurt me,' the Indian felt a burst of courage and leaned forward, smirking. 'You are really just a big softie.'

Rather abruptly, Buford stood, grabbed Baljeet by the collar and dragged him away from the table to slam him up against the wall, with his hands resting against said wall on either side of his nerd's head, effectively trapping the boy. 'Oh really? You wanna say that again, shorty?'

Baljeet started to regret agreeing to go over to Buford's house to study when the boy's mother was out. He knew that Buford was only teasing in his violent, psychopathic way, but the shock of being shoved up against a wall and having that face sneering into his own caused a wave of fear to wash over him. 'I-I...'

'You what, nerd?'

'Nothing...' Baljeet avoided meeting those blue eyes, instead staring down at his shoes.

'That's what I thought,' the sneer turned into a smirk, and Buford moved one hand to grip the dark skinned chin, forcing it upwards. Baljeet's cheeks flushed, and Buford chuckled at this. 'You know, 'Jeet, my mom's not going to be back for a couple of hours...'

Baljeet was an avid reader, and he'd read plenty of romance novels that told of supposed butterflies in your stomach. He'd always thought it stupid and pointless, until that moment. Now, the imagined butterflies were going crazy, and his heart was beating so loudly, he was surprised Buford didn't comment on it.

It was going to happen. It was finally going to happen.

There was always something there between the two, something unspoken, neither boys brave enough to bring it up. Their friends had told them over and over to just do something about it instead of acting like they were in kindergarten, but neither did. Oh sure, they'd had plenty of moments where the attraction between them was rather obvious (Baljeet whispering Buford's name in his sleep at a sleep over, Buford beating the crap out of another bully who'd tried to hurt Baljeet), but nothing ever came of it and they acted like nothing had ever happened the next day.

But now, it seemed, things were about to change. Baljeet saw Buford leaning in, and he closed his eyes, parting his lips ever so slightly in preparation and-

Buford pulled away, chuckling, and ruffling the smaller boy's hair. 'Your homework is getting cold, kid.'

There had been close calls like this before, but Baljeet had never been so disappointed and... angry. His brown eyes locked on Buford's, and before the bully could react, he closed the distance between them, reaching out to grab a fistful of short brown hair and yanking it. Buford's eyes widened as his head was pulled down. Baljeet stood on tip-toe and shoved their mouths together.

There was a tense pause in which nothing happened, and then Buford's eyes slid closed as he began to kiss back hesitantly. Baljeet's heart was beating like crazy and he felt light headed, but he wouldn't have traded that moment for anything. They parted a moment later, and Buford let out a nervous laugh. 'Better than homework?'

'So much better.'

Xoxoxo

**Review! REVIEWERS GET COOKIES.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Welcome back! **

**_Jacket _was inspired by my night tonight. I had a perfect date (oh my gosh, I actually have a boyfriend and haven't scared him off yet). I'm in a romantic mood. Which means FLUFF! Yay!**

**Also, just a warning. I have the annoying habit of writing 'Bujeet' when I should be writing 'Baljeet'. I've tried to correct all of those mistakes, but I might have missed a few. Bear with me! (Actually, looking over _Jacket_, I can see I've done it about twenty freaking times in the whole thing. Whoops.) **

Xoxoxo

_Jacket_

Baljeet was feeling rather annoyed at himself. His night was supposed to have been absolutely perfect- picnic dinner at the beach, maybe a midnight swim, a good make out session when no one was around. And all those things had happened, or were going to eventually, but he couldn't enjoy them because he forgot his bloody jacket and he was absolutely freezing.

Buford was still pigging out on the chicken they had brought, and Baljeet let out a sigh as he drew his knees up and wrapped his arms around them in a vain attempt to warm himself. The other boy glanced up at him and wiped his mouth. 'You alright there, 'Jeet?'

'I am fine,' Baljeet smiled over at his boyfriend and attempted to change the subject. 'I still cannot believe we are already one year into our relationship. Time sure does fly.'

Buford just grunted. It wasn't romantic in the least, but the smaller boy didn't mind. He was used to Buford's complete and utter lack of any romantic sense. This whole beach picnic thing had been Baljeet's idea- there was no way he would let his thick headed boyfriend plan their one year anniversary date. He'd have probably ended up watching some kind of boring horror movie at Buford's house before sleeping over, or worse, the large bully probably would have forgotten the anniversary all together and not planned anything.

After a few moments of silence, Baljeet closed his eyes and began to shiver. This continued for some time, and he eventually progressed to teeth chattering as Buford continued to demolish the food. Eventually, though, Buford did look up and see him. 'Hold up, shrimp, you cold?'

'N-Not at all,' Baljeet lied.

'Oh for crying out loud,' Buford rolled his eyes and reached to unzip his jacket. Baljeet's eyes widened and he shook his head.

'Oh, no! I cannot take your jacket, you will be cold!'

'Nah,' Buford pulled it off, revealing yet another jacket underneath it. 'I have a few layers on, figured it might get colder later on.'

He reached over and handed it to his boyfriend. Baljeet would have preferred he put it on himself, but he made do, pulling the warm green jacket on and smiling as the coldness disappeared. The clothing item completely swamped his tiny frame, but he didn't mind. He could smell his bully on it, and it soothed him. 'Thank you, Buford.'

'Ya welcome, nerd.'

After the midnight swim and their admittedly hot make out session, Buford offered to walk him home. The streets were empty, but Baljeet was grateful. He hated walking home alone, even in daylight. He always imagined monsters hiding in the shadows, which was ridiculous because he was seventeen years old, for Christ's sake, he should be able to walk home from school without needing his big strong boyfriend for protection.

Baljeet slipped his hand in Buford's, and the larger boy meshed their fingers together. Smiling, Baljeet squeezed gently, and they proceeded to walk the entire distance just like that. Outside Baljeet's door, the Indian leant up and pressed his lips to his boyfriend's softly. 'I had a wonderful night, Buford, thank you.'

'Ya, well, I did as well,' the bully rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. 'So thank you too, I guess.'

'Here,' Baljeet unzipped the large green jacket and started to pull it off. 'I will give this back.'

'Nah,' Buford pulled his hands away and zipped it back up again, smiling slightly. He leaned in and kissed Baljeet's cheek. 'You keep it for the night. You look pretty cute like that, drowning in my clothes and all.'

Baljeet laughed even as he blushed. It was the most romantic thing Buford had ever said or done, and it pleased him immensely. 'Thank you.'

'I love you, dork,' Buford muttered softly.

The smaller boy's face darkened even further. Even after an entire year, neither of them had mentioned love. It seemed like all his dreams were coming true tonight. 'I-I love you too, you big bully.'

When he eventually went to bed, his cheeks were sore from smiling.

Xoxoxo

_Sick_

Allowing his older brother to walk in the rain because the umbrella was too small to cover both of them had been a bad call. The next day, Phineas had woken up bright and early, ready to take on the day. He'd turned to where his brother's bed was, a greeting on his lips, but Ferb was not sitting up in bed like usual. The green-haired teen was still sleeping, despite the fact Perry's chattering had woken him up every day since they were little kids. Curious, Phineas threw off his bedcovers and inched over to his brother, noting that his cheeks were flushed red.

'Ferb, come on, we've got school,' Phineas shook the larger boy's shoulder. 'You gotta get up, bro.'

'Mmm,' Ferb tried to bat his hand away, his eyes staying closed. 'Five more minutes.'

Phineas frowned. While this would probably be what every normal teenager did each morning, Ferb was not a normal teenager, and this had never happened before. Ever. Reaching over, he pressed his palm to his brother's forehead and winced. 'You're burning up, Ferb,' he sighed softly. 'I knew I shouldn't have taken your umbrella.'

Hearing the guilt in the redhead's voice, Ferb forced his eyes open and he struggled to get up, despite his weak limbs and the overwhelming urge to just go back to sleep. 'I'm fine,' he muttered, swaying slightly in his sitting up position. 'Don't feel bad, I'm fine.'

'Ferb,' Phineas sighed, pressing firm hands against his brother's shoulders. 'Stay in bed. You're sick.'

The green-haired boy gave in easily, too weak to protest. He allowed Phineas to tuck him back into bed, and the younger brother pulled away his heavy blanket, leaving him covered in a light sheet. 'Don't want you getting too warm,' he murmured. 'I'll just go get mom.'

'Wait,' Ferb reached out and grabbed the boy's hand sluggishly, his eyes half closed. 'Come here.'

He didn't know what made him do it. Maybe it was his feverish brain, maybe it was how worried his brother looked, maybe it was simply just the right time. All he knew was when he tugged Phineas down and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, it felt amazing.

He didn't hear the shocked intake of breath or feel his brother pull away, didn't see Phineas' hand reach up to touch his own lips. Sleep had already claimed him.

Xoxoxo

_Steal_

It all started when Buford stole the most import thing he had. The bully had already taken his pride, his dignity, his calculators and notes. And now he had to go and take his heart, too.

Baljeet kicked the rock in front of him and watched it as it flew down the pavement, landing a few feet away. It was so unfair. He was already so different to what society considered 'cool'- he wasn't loud and obnoxious. He didn't dress in the clothes that were 'so in this season' (skinny jeans and tight t-shirts). He didn't moan and complain about homework and how hard school was. And then he just had to go and add not straight to the list. No wonder he had so little friends.

'Wha's wrong, shrimpy?' a gravelly voice asked from behind him. 'Lost your homework?'

Baljeet clenched his fists as a flash of annoyance appeared at the sound of Buford's voice. He certainly didn't feel anything warm towards the brute at that moment. Perhaps he wasn't in love with him after all? But as he turned to glare at the larger boy behind him, he took in the tall figure with that cocky grin, and his heart melted.

Oh boy. He was so in trouble.

Xoxoxo

**Key:**

_Username: saying something._

_Username: **action. 'Saying something.'**_

Xoxoxo

_Online_

_Phinny is online._

_The_Green_Menace is online._

_Phinny: What're you doing online, Ferb? You're supposed to be in calculus right now._

_The_Green_Menace: And you're supposed to be sleeping, Mister 'I don't feel well'._

_Phinny: **rolls his eyes. 'You know I've got far too much energy to sleep during the day, even when I'm sick.'**_

_The_Green_Menace: **smirks. 'Put that energy to good use then.'**_

_Phinny: Oh come on, Ferb, that's gross. Mom is right in the other room._

_The_Green_Menace: I was talking about you building something._

_Phinny: ...Oh._

_The_Green_Menace: You have such a dirty mind, Phineas._

_Phinny: I haven't heard you complain before._

_The_Green_Menace: You're right, as always. Are you feeling better?_

_Phinny: I will when you get home._

_The_Green_Menace: **hugs him tightly. 'Just a couple more hours.'**_

_Phinny: **hugs back. 'I love you.'**_

_The_Green_Menace: I love you too._

Xoxoxo

_Jail_

'Alright, son, you're free to go.'

Buford stepped out of the holding cell, nodding to the police officer as he backed away. They knew each other. Had a long history, in fact. They were usually at each other's throats, but the officer had sympathized with Buford on this little misconduct. He supposed that meant they could be friendly for the time being.

'You are the most stupid, idiotic, obnoxious person I know!' Baljeet was waiting for him outside, arms crossed and eyes narrowed into a glare. 'Why do you always have to go and hurt people, Buford?'

'Because he hurt you, 'Jeet,' the larger teenager shrugged casually, sweeping his boyfriend under his arm and pulling him along so they were walking down the sidewalk together.

'So he gave me a black eye,' Baljeet snarled, not at all happy with the arm around his shoulder that refused to be budged. 'That does not give you permission to break his nose!'

'Asshole had it coming,' Buford grinned down at the glowering Indian, an idea forming in his head. He glanced around to check no one was watching and tugged the boy down a side alley encased by large wooden fences so they couldn't be seen.

'Where are we going?' Baljeet let out a huff of air.

'Right here,' Buford shoved the smaller frame against the fence, pressing his own body up against it so it couldn't move. His lips pressed against a delicate throat, caressing the caramel skin he found there.

'Buford!' Baljeet hissed, trying to shove his boyfriend off unsuccessfully. 'We are right outside a police station!'

'So?' Buford gripped one small hand in each of his and pinned them above his lover's curly head against the fence. Baljeet glowered at him, twisting and trying to pull himself from Buford's grasp. His nails dug into the hands holding his, and he let out a string of soft curses. 'God, I love it when you try to fight me off, 'Jeet,' Buford mumbled, pressing their hips together.

Baljeet's face went from pissed off to wide eyed in an instant, and despite himself, a moan slipped out. His cheeks burned, and he tried to pull away again, but one thrust of Buford's hips and he was straining to get closer, a soft whine escaping from his throat. 'B-Buford, we will get caught.'

'And?' the boy chuckled, trailing his lips up the soft throat, along the jaw line and nibbling at the corner of Baljeet's lips. 'What's another night in jail?'

Baljeet sighed and gave in.

Xoxoxo

**I particularly like the last one. I thought it was a bit.. Naughty. Hehe. **

**Thank you guys for all the favourites, reviews and follows! I love it when I see my inbox filled with notification emails from fanfiction. Feel free to PM in ideas or just to chat. **

**Reviewers get cookies! COOKIES!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I read over the last chapter (and the first two) and ended up screaming out loud more than once because I continuously wrote 'Bujeet' instead of 'Baljeet'. DAMN YOU PAIRING NAMES! I should just stick to calling them BSquared. No way I could mix that up.**

**Actually, I probably could.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy these!**

Xoxoxo

_Questions_

Is it okay to love you?

I find myself asking him this, over and over, in my head. We're so close, people claim he can read my mind. Perhaps he can hear my whispered questions, perhaps he just chooses to ignore them. Perhaps we're not as close as we appear. Either way, he does not react when I ask him again, whisper the words from my heart, never leaving my mouth.

Is it okay to feel this way? To want you so much, with every part of my being?

Sometimes I dream of him answering my questions. Most of the time, he smiles and tells me that it's okay, that no one can help how they feel, that he loves me too. But sometimes, the dream twists and warps, his face snarls, and he tells me he is disgusted, as if loving him is the worst thing I could have done to him.

Aren't there worse things? It's not as if I hit him, or cut him, or burned him. How did I manage to make love, so blindingly pure and taint-free, look distorted and ugly?

I sit by his bedside, rocking slowly as the cold night air slides over my skin and raises the fine hairs on my arms. His eyes are closed, and he's breathing so deeply, so slowly, it seems he will never wake.

Would it be safe to tell you? To allow my heart's confession to slip past my lips, just once? After all, it's not as if you can hear me.

I reach out, my fingers hovering just over his porcelain cheek, afraid to touch, afraid not to. When I do, its as if I grabbed electrical wires, sparks shooting up my arm and hitting my heart.

If one simple touch can do this, what would kissing him be like? His lips on my throat?

It hurts, looking at him, sleeping so peacefully. I want to tell him.

Shouldn't I be able to tell him? What's so wrong with love?

Forbidden love. He'd hate me, if he knew. He moves, so slight I barely see it, but I can feel it from my fingers on his cheek. Ever so slightly, he tilts his head closer to my hand.

It comes out unbidden, a croaked confession under the cloak of darkness. 'I love you, Phineas.'

And in the moments that follow, I can hear my heart racing, my breathing quicken, the noises of the night outside our bedroom window. And I can hear him, his lips moving gently, mouthing in his sleep.

'Ferb.'

Xoxoxo

_Hate_

'First of all,' Buford growled, leaning forward and poking the scrawny boy in front of him in the chest, gaining a small amount of smug satisfaction at the way he flinched. 'I do not hate you. I hate your stupid clothes, I hate your stupid bag that's always crammed with way too many books, I hate the fact you're always too busy for me anymore, but I don't hate you.'

'Is that so?' Baljeet shoved the jabbing finger away, his lips forming an unconvincing sneer. 'Well, Buford, let me tell you this. I hate your stupid TUFF gum, I hate your stupid Bully Code, I hate that you are always hanging around with your ridiculous football friends, but most of all, I hate _you_.'

Buford stepped forward, using his larger body to crowd Baljeet, forcing the genius to move backwards in order to escape. He didn't stop until the small teen's back hit the wall, and then Buford pressed his forearm across Baljeet's chest to stop the kid from moving. Seething with rage, he moved his face in close, trying his best to intimidate. It seemed to be working, as Baljeet's entire body was trembling, the tiny spasm of courage it took for him to say what he had said long gone. 'If you hated me, _nerd_,' Buford snarled, stressing the last word. 'Then you would have thought up some genius scheme to get rid of me. You're the smartest kid I know, you could have done it. So why didn't you?'

Baljeet gulped, his adams apple bobbing. 'Buford...' his voice was small, scared, unsure how to proceed. 'I...'

'Don't hate me,' Buford finished, smirking. 'Admit it.'

Baljeet stayed stubbornly silent.

'Admit it, nerd!'

'No!'

Buford growled and lowered his head, crushing their lips together with bruising force, only to pull back a few seconds later, leaving the Indian no time to react. Baljeet's eyes were wide with shock. 'Admit it.'

'I do not hate you,' it came out as a whisper.

'I don't hate you, too, nerd.'

Xoxoxo

_Hand_

'We need to tell them, Ferb.'

His step-brother didn't reply, simply glowering at him. The look said it all. No way, crazy man.

'Ferb,' Phineas let out a sigh and went to take the boy's hand, but Ferb pulled it out of reach, turning his head to stare pointedly at their mother, who was only a few feet away, reading a book in the living room chair and completely ignoring them. 'Come on, bro. Did you think we could keep this a secret forever? They're our parents. We owe it to them to tell them.'

Still, Ferb looked unimpressed. He shook his head, causing Phineas to groan and cover his face for a few moments. When he looked back up, his eyes were wide and pleading. 'Please, Ferb. For me.'

That cunning little... He damn well knew Ferb could never say no when faced with those eyes! The green-haired teen bit back a growl, but his heart melted at the sight. With a sigh, he nodded reluctantly. Immediately, Phineas' lips twitched into a smile, and this time when he reached for Ferb's hand, the boy didn't pull away. 'Don't let go,' the redhead whispered.

They meshed their fingers together, sharing their strength, silently supporting each other as they stood from their seats at the kitchen table and approached their mother, who glanced up, looked back at her book, and then did a double take at their joined hands. She raised an eyebrow at them.

_Don't let go._

'Mom...' Phineas took a deep breath. 'We have something we want to tell you and Dad.'

_I won't._

Xoxoxo

_Lust_

At first, he'd put it down to lust.

Sure, it was unusual for step-brothers to get completely smashed while they were home alone one night and end up making out. But that was just it- they weren't actually related. They were both suffering the effects of puberty, both under an intense desire to experiment. It was just the effects of lust running around in their brains, and other places.

But after the third time they made out, and Phineas began to notice just how damn beautiful his brother's eyes were, he began to doubt his first claim.

Maybe it wasn't lust.

Maybe it was love.

But that was okay. And after the first time he said it, Ferb had thought it was okay, too. Perfectly fine. Because he loved him back.

And nothing else mattered.

Xoxoxo

_Fire_

He couldn't breathe, could barely see through the haze of smoke inside the large purple building that was Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. His fedora long gone, dropped somewhere on one of the lower floors, forgotten in his haste. Where was he? He couldn't be gone. He had to be here, had to be safe. Please, let him be safe.

Perry burst into yet another room, his chocolate brown eyes sweeping over the interior, hoping to see the tall, lanky man that was his nemesis. A distressed chatter escaped him when he realized Doofenshmirtz was not there. Let him be safe.

Perry turned, eyes widening in fright when a loud noise startled him. The ceiling just above him caved in, and it hurtled towards him. His agent instincts kicked in, and he rolled to avoid the debris. Despite his best efforts, one particularly heavy piece of plaster landed on one of his hind legs. For all his strength, all his smarts, he couldn't get it off. He was trapped.

He could hardly feel the pain in his leg. That was bad, but he wasn't worried. His vision was swimming, and suddenly he found himself on his back, staring up at the hole in the ceiling. Vaguely, he heard a loud voice, screaming his name. It was familiar. Who was it again? Henry? Harry?

Heinz.

A large human head blocked his view of the ceilings, of the flames licking at it. Words reached him, but he barely understood them. 'Perry the platypus, hold on,' it was whispered, and the large, calloused hands shoved at the ceiling plaster holding Perry in place. It creaked in protest, but one final shove and it moved.

Doofenshmirtz picked Perry up, cradling the small platypus in his arms. A tiny part of Perry's brain that wasn't affected by the lack of oxygen wondered at the fact his nemesis had recognized him without the hat. But then again, what other platypus would enter a burning building and search for it's owner?

'You're a stupid, stupid mammal,' Doofenshmirtz was scolding even as he hurried out of the room, down a winding staircase. 'I was perfectly fine, there was no need to rescue me.'

Perry thought this was unlikely, considering his building was burning, but even if he could talk, he was too exhausted to argue. His eyes slid closed, and his head rested against the warm chest.

He was safe.

Xoxoxo

**_Fire _was requested by PhineasFlynns, and I was happy to oblige. I've never really been into Perryshmirtz, let alone written one, so I hope it wasn't too horrible. **


	5. Chapter 5

**I was listening to a really old song on the radio on the way to school today. I didn't know the artist, and neither did mum, but it's been stuck in my head all day and I'm thinking maybe writing will help get it out. Something about moonlight... And the end of the chorus goes "so kiss me". **

**I'm guessing it's called Kiss Me.**

**Dur.**

**Anyone know what it is? Please PM/Review it. It's driving me CRAZY.**

**On another note, found the cutest Phinerb youtube video the other day. Its to the song You Make Me Smile. So freaking adorable. New favourite so-**

**My cat is scratching at the window and its kinda freaking me out...**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy!**

Xoxoxo

_Kiss_

Sometimes they have tussles, like any brothers would, on a particularly hot summer day. Ferb would steal Phineas' wrench when his back was turned, and hold it high above his head mockingly at the redhead's protests. Phineas would go on his tip-toes, one hand gripping Ferb's shoulder for support as the other reaches for the wrench. Neither of them comment on how close they are, how their chests press together, how Phineas' face is so close. That's not to say they didn't notice, however.

Ferb would drop the wrench, and when Phineas leans over to pick it up, the green-haired teen would wrap his arms around the smaller boy's waist and pull them both onto the grassy lawn, ignoring the squawking protests.

'Ferb! Stop it!'

But the protests would be accompanied by short bursts of laughter, and Ferb held on tighter, moving so he was straddling his brother. Phineas' face would be flushed, and he'd grin, rolling them over so he was on top, his hands catching Ferb's wrists and pinning them above his head. 'You may be bigger, but I'm faster,' he'd taunt, trying to get Ferb to fight back, so they could continue their play time.

But Ferb would lay there calmly, a tiny smirk on his face, watching as Phineas finally seemed to notice the compromising position they were in, and how close they were. His grip on Ferb's wrists loosen, about to let go, so the British teen speaks. 'I know you like me.'

And Phineas' face flushes, he stammers and looks away, but Ferb just waits it out until the redhead calms enough to say, 'how?'

'It's obvious.'

Phineas lets go, but he continues to straddle his brother, unsure of what to do, if he should leave, if he should stay. Ferb sits up, and suddenly their faces are so close yet again, and the redhead asks, 'do you hate me?'

'No, I love you, so kiss me.'

And so he does.

Xoxoxo

_Cake_

Baljeet tried to show his affection in small ways. Sometimes, he would wear extra stretchy underwear so it was easier for Buford to hoist him up the flag pole. He only ever talked back in private, never undermining the bully's dominance in front of other people. He asked his mother to pack the sort of cake that Buford loved in his lunch, for when the boy would steal it, even if he himself hated that flavour.

Buford showed his affection in small ways, too. When Baljeet wore extra stretchy underwear, he'd only leave him up the flag pole for a few minutes. When his nerd never talked back in public, he'd be nice (as nice as he could be) in private. When he found that the cake he stole was his favourite flavour, he'd take Baljeet out and treat him to ice-cream after school.

And when Baljeet smiled at him, with orange chocolate chip ice-cream dripping down the cone and onto his hands, he'd thank Buford. 'This is nice, I do love ice-cream.'

'Well, I love cake,' he'd reply, and that'd be the end of that.

Xoxoxo

_Friday_

'It's Friday! Friday! Gotta get down on Friday! Everybody's looking forward to the weekend, the weekend!'

Ferb raised one green eyebrow at his brother, who was swinging his bag around as they walked home, singing loudly and ignoring the stares from passerby's. 'That is singlehandedly,' Ferb started softly, 'the most horrendous song I have ever heard. Why are you trying to cause me pain?'

'Sorry, Ferb,' Phineas bumped his hip into Ferb's side teasingly, grinning. 'Gitchee Gitchee Goo?'

'What?' Ferb asked, startled, watching as Phineas finally put his backpack on properly. He knew what the phrase meant, of course, but they weren't at that stage in the relationship yet to be saying those kinds of things.

'Gitchee Gitchee Goo,' Phineas repeated. 'Should I sing that instead?'

'Oh,' understanding flooded him, and he relaxed, allowing Phineas' hand to slip into his. 'Sure. Want me to do Candace's part?'

In reply, Phineas took a deep breath and began to belt out their one and only big hit. 'Bow chicka bow, wow!'

_Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you!_

Xoxoxo

_Night_

He hated the night.

Imaginary hands reaching for him from the darkened corners of his room. The scraping of branches against his windows transforming into nails dragging down a chalk board. Holding his breath, hoping the silence would continue. Hoping he wouldn't hear the sound of breathing even when he stopped. His heart pounding in his ears, making it hard to monitor the sounds in his room.

Was that a footstep?

No. He must have imagined it.

His body frozen in fear, unable to move, staring up at his ceiling and hoping desperately that he wouldn't see any kind of movement. That he was the only one in the room. Spending ages gathering courage and finally managing to reach his hand up slowly, grabbing his phone from the night stand and bringing it to his chest. In one quick movement that set his heart racing, he pulled the covers over his head and flipped his phone open, almost gasping in relief as the light pushed back some of his terror.

Speed-dial. Hearing the ringing and hoping he was the only one who could. And after a few moments, he heard a sleepy voice murmuring his name over the phone. 'Baljeet?'

'Buford,' he gasped, feeling relief wash over him in waves at the sound of that voice.

'Jesus, what the hell, 'Jeet? It's two in the morning,' there was a pause. 'Did you have another nightmare?'

'Yes.'

'Hold on a minute,' his bully sounded much more awake, and he could hear rustling in the background. 'I'll be over soon.'

And when he was encased in warm arms, pressed against a firm chest and rocked him back to sleep, he started to think that just maybe, night wasn't so bad.

Xoxoxo

_Christian_

Back when they were kids, and people asked Isabella what she wanted to name her firstborn son, she would always reply with a dreamy smile, 'Christian.'

No one realized it was only because Phineas wanted to name his son that, and she was determined it would be her son too.

When they grew up and she finally gave up the chase upon realizing he would never be hers, she began to answer the question differently. Instead of giving Phineas' answer, she would give her own. She was finally thinking for herself.

Phineas, on the other hand, never changed his answer. He went through his teenage years wanting to name his son Christian, and his daughter Lily, if he was lucky enough to be gifted with children. He didn't think he ever would though, because one little problem stood in his way.

He was gay. For his step-brother.

Eventually, though, when they started to think about life and their future, they agreed that they would have kids no matter what. Even if that meant getting someone, perhaps Candace or Isabella, to carry the baby for them.

But Phineas had a friend who worked in an orphanage, and one day she told him about a toddler who'd just arrived. When he asked the name, she replied, 'Christian.'

And Phineas got his son after all.

Xoxoxo

**That was just... Horrible. Argh.**

**I'm disappoint. We're allowed to write fanfiction and submit it as creative writing for English, but I wasn't allowed to do it on Phineas and Ferb because apparently the characters aren't 'in-depth' enough.**

**Ended up doing Harry Potter instead.**

**I so would have written a Phinerb and submitted it if I'd been allowed :(**

**Anyway, review! Reviewers get marshmallows! MARSHMALLOWS! **


	6. Chapter 6

**I decided to sneak in another Perryshmirtz. BECAUSE I FREAKIN' WANTED TO.**

**I was listening to the song Behind Blue Eyes and the whole time I was thinking of Heinz. After that, I really started getting into human!Perry/Heinz. **

**It kinda has to be human Perry. I mean, I may have a soft spot for Brewie on Family Guy, but I really can't wrap my head around human/animal relations. And Heinz as a platypus is just... Weird.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

Xoxoxo

_Impossible_

It was impossible, of course, for the twenty-something year old standing in his livingroom to be his hated nemesis. For one thing, he was human. Sure, the messy teal hair that hung to his chin was the exact shade of Perry's fur, and those chocolate brown eyes held the same intelligence that Perry's did, and the fedora perched on his head was the same. But it was simply impossible that this young man was Perry the Platypus.

'You're kidding me,' Heinz said after a moment of tense silence. The man raised one blue-green brow in response, daring the doctor to go on. And go on he did. 'You're telling me that you've managed to get yourself turned into a human, and that you can't tell me how because it would blow your cover, because it has something to do with your host family, but I should just accept it and move on without question?'

'Yes,' his voice came out unnaturally deep, and the man stopped for a moment and cleared his throat. 'Forgive me, Doctor. I am still getting used to my voice.'

'Bullshit.'

'Excuse me?' the shocked look on his face was totally worth the cursing.

'I said,' Heinz crossed his arms over his chest, 'bullshit. How am I supposed to accept this? How can I know you aren't just someone from the agency, brought in to distract me whilst the real Perry attacks me from behind?'

As he said it, he glanced over his shoulder, half expecting an angry platypus to be behind him, ready to kick his ass. But there was nothing but his couch.

The strange man in front of him looked away, and Heinz saw his lips twitch slightly. After a moment, he spoke. 'Your deepest regret is not being close to your daughter,' he glanced up, meeting Heinz' shocked look with a sympathetic expression, 'and that you couldn't make it work with your ex-wife, because the break down of your relationship led to Vanessa distancing herself from you.'

'How did you...?' Heinz was staring wide-eyed now, his mouth suddenly dry.

'Because you told me,' the man, now undeniably Perry, shrugged carelessly, 'during one of your long-winded rants as I was tied up.'

'You actually listen to those?' Heinz almost snorted in amusement. He'd assumed the damn monotreme just blocked out his words until he found a way to escape.

'Of course I do,' Perry looked at him, brown eyes meeting blue. 'You're my nemesis.'

Heinz felt his cheeks flush, and Perry smirked, moving forward to trace one hand over the redness, and the doctor couldn't help but notice that he was still taller than Perry, even when the agent was human. 'W-What are you doing?'

'My job,' his voice came out as a husky whisper. 'I have to stop you taking over the Tri-State Area using any means necessary, even if I have to keep you otherwise occupied.'

Was he...? Oh god.

Heinz stared as Perry went up on his tip-toes, one hand curling around the back of the doctor's neck and applying pressure, bringing Heinz' head down so their lips were inches apart. 'Perry?'

'Just relax, Heinz,' there was that infernal smirk again, 'you're in safe hands.'

There was a jolt, and Heinz found himself sitting upright in his bed, sweating like crazy, his heart beating way too fast. He tried to catch his breath as he placed a hand to his chest, eyes wide and unseeing in the darkness of his bedroom.

'What,' he gasped out after a moment, 'in the hell was _that_?'

Xoxoxo

_Blood_

Phineas always had a tendency to overreact. When Candace moved out of home, he cried for hours. When Perry went missing for a week, he spent each day thinking his life was over, only to morph back into his bright and cheerful self when the semi-aquatic mammal showed up. When Buford had ended up hurting Baljeet because he was too stubborn to admit his feelings, Phineas had been almost wild with anger and had berated him for over half an hour.

With that in mind, Ferb carefully hid his bleeding hand behind his back as his step-brother came in the door. 'Hey, Ferb!' Phineas called cheerfully. 'What've you been up to while Isabella was torturing me with helping her shop?'

'I was making a salad,' Ferb glanced down at the chopping board, realizing too late that there was a copious amount of blood covering it, and the chopped up bits of carrot on it.

'Oh my god, is that blood?' Phineas rushed forward, looking closely at the little red droplets, before staring up at Ferb with wide eyes. 'Are you hurt?'

Not wanting to lie, but not wanting to admit it either, Ferb stayed silent. With an angry pout, Phineas pulled Ferb's arm out from behind his back and let out a loud gasp when he saw the blood dripping from it. 'Ferb!' he held up the hand to his eyes, inspecting the cut. 'What the hell! This is going to need stitches! Why did you hide this from me?'

'I knew you'd get worried,' Ferb shrugged, his face still impassive even as his hand throbbed in pain. Phineas glanced from his hand to his face, lips pursing into a frown.

'You're impossible, Fletcher,' he leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to Ferb's cheek. 'Now let's go find Mom and get you all stitched up.'

Even losing a large amount of blood and having to have some guy put a needle in his skin was worth getting that chaste kiss. Next time, he wouldn't try to hide it when he got hurt.

Phineas' kisses were worth anything.

Xoxoxo

_Glasses_

Buford stared in horror as Baljeet waltz through his bedroom door, unannounced, claiming he'd left his pencil case behind from the last time they'd studied together. Baljeet hardly looked at him, already busy looking on Buford's dresser. He should have taken that moment to hide the book in his hands and the glasses on his nose, but he was too shocked.

'Have you seen it? It is red, and-' Baljeet finally turned to look at him and trailed off, his eyes drawn to Buford's face. 'You wear glasses?'

'You tell anyone, nerd,' Buford threatened in a low voice, 'and I will not hesitate to kick you ass into next week.'

Baljeet held up his hands in a defensive manner, a smirk coming to his face. He was so used to the threats that they hardly even bothered him. Buford rarely carried out his threats. He was all bark and no bite. 'Hey, it is okay, I will not tell anyone.'

Buford grunted, pulling off the glasses and setting them on his bedside table gently. Baljeet stepped closer, tilting his head to read the title of the book Buford was reading. A Summer Nights Dream. Shakespear? Who would have thought? He grinned up into Buford's face, who was glowering at him. 'I like the way you look with glasses,' he said innocently. 'They bring out your eyes.'

After that, Buford began to wear his glasses to every study session, and Baljeet couldn't be happier.

Xoxoxo

_House_

He and Ferb were home alone when they were both awoken by the tinkling sound of glass braking. Phineas glanced over at his brother with wide eyes, more startled than fearful. After all, he was a genius who designed portals to mars and robots. Whatever was going on in the house wouldn't be that tough, right? For all he knew, it could have been Perry knocking something over.

Nope. Perry was on Ferb's bed, sleeping peacefully. Well, that option was out.

Both teenagers climbed out of bed as carefully and noiselessly as they could, padding towards the door and opening it gently. Phineas could hear a quiet scuffling coming from the living room, and he pushed back the slight tingling of fear. He was filled to the brim with smarts and confidence, and nothing could go wrong. Still, he grabbed his baseball bat just in case.

He wanted to do something brave, he knew, as he and his brother crept down the hallway towards the living room. Something he could brag about to the other kids in their neighborhood in the morning. Stupid of him, really, but he was a teenage boy, so sue him. They stood near the door, waiting, looking at each other and silently communicating in the way only they could. Phineas wanted to rush into the living room brandishing the bat but one noise from the living room had both of them scurrying into the kitchen, hearts pounding wildly. Ferb ended up standing on one side of the fridge, which was a good spot because anyone who came into the kitchen from the living room wouldn't see him. Phineas hid under the table, one hand clutching at a chair leg, the other holding the bat tightly. All his bravado had vanished at that one noise. Maybe he wasn't as confident as he thought.

A dark figure entered the kitchen, moving slowly, obviously looking around. It passed the fridge but didn't see Ferb, thank god. Fear was a constant tugging at the redhead's gut, and he was torn between bursting into tears or peeing his pyjama bottoms. He did neither, but it was a close call. The figure moved closer to the table, and Phineas stayed frozen, holding his breath, knowing that if he just stayed still, just stayed quiet, perhaps the man (or woman, although the figure was way too stocky to be female) wouldn't notice him.

And then he saw the moonlight glinting off the knife held in the man's hand, and he did the stupidest thing he'd ever done. He screamed.

The man jerked and crouched so he was looking under the table. Phineas slapped a hand over his mouth, his horrified blue eyes locking with the stranger's. It was just a brief moment, but the terrified teenager took everything in. He saw, in the dim moonlight streaming through the kitchen window, the man's sneer, his moss green eyes, the ragged brown mustache with tiny bits of food in it. The crooked, yellow teeth and wild eyebrows. And that evil little smile that appeared when he no doubt realized that it was just a scared little boy, and not a threat.

And then Ferb slammed into him from the side.

Loud grunting and banging noises erupted. Phineas couldn't see them clearly and didn't waste time trying to get a good view. He shuffled backwards and pushed a chair out of the way so he could climb out from under the table. Gripping his bat tightly, he crept around the table even though it was pointless trying to be quiet when the scuffle nearby was so noisy. When he finally got close enough to see, he dropped his bat because he no longer needed it. One well-aimed punch from Ferb and the stranger was out cold.

He realized a while afterwards that dropping the bat, his only weapon, was a huge mistake. Thankfully, after kicking the stranger's knife away, Ferb noticed and picked it up. Better that Ferb had it. Phineas wouldn't do much damage with it anyway. The green-haired teen pulled Phineas into a one armed hug and the smaller boy felt the bat digging into his back. With his free hand, Ferb plucked the phone off the kitchen counter and dialed the police.

Phineas buried his face into Ferb's chest and fought back sobs. He'd always considered himself to be so damn smart, and his one mistake, screaming, had nearly killed them. He'd always been the leader in times of crisis, and yet he'd just broken down and forced Ferb to take over.

'Phin?'

'I'm sorry,' he managed. 'I'm so sorry.'

He didn't need to explain. Ferb understood. His brother pulled him in tighter, and when Phineas looked up, he saw those dark green eyes trained on the motionless form of the stranger. Even now, he was still on the lookout for danger.

'It's not your fault. Everyone reacts differently.'

Somehow, those words were no comfort to him at all.

Xoxoxo

_Foreigner _

'Hello, my name is Baljeet Rai.'

Buford stared at the scrawny little kid in front of him, who wore a big cheesy smile and held out his dark-skinned hand to shake. He was in blue overalls, a plain white shirt underneath and blue trainers. Baljeet was... What was that word his mother used for Indians? Erotic?

Exotic. This kid was exotic. And six-year-old Buford couldn't help but be mesmerized by that accent.

With an evil grin, he ignored the outstretched hand, slid around so he was behind Baljeet and grabbed his underwear, giving it a hard pull. 'Nice meetin' ya, shrimp! The name's Buford!'

He'd found his new nerd.

Xoxoxo

**Last one was horribly short, sorry.**

**Sorry this took so long to get out! I've been rather unmotivated. Also, I tend to update this at the same time as my BuJeet story "Keeping Secrets", and that was put on hold because Ashlee hadn't written the plan for the chapter yet, so this was put on hold. **

**Sorry guys.**

**Review? Reviewers get ice-cream! ICE-CREAM!**


	7. Chapter 7

**This took ages, I know. I'm sorry. My motivation is extremely low and when I force myself to write, I've been focusing on my chapter fic. **

**I know I should have been working on this instead of starting an entirely new series of little one-shots (After Sex) , but when inspiration calls, you answer it, especially when I've been so low on inspiration lately. **

**The third ficlet is so long it could be a little one-shot of it's own, so I hope that makes up for how late this was. Once again, I'm really sorry, guys! Hope you enjoy!**

Xoxoxo

_Changing_

I swear puberty will be the death of me.

Like everything else in my life, I hit it the same time as Phineas, although I'm certain he never gets any of the bad stuff. Oh sure, he's grown a lot, and started getting facial hair. But he isn't plagued by the horrible stuff I have to go through.

First of all is my voice deepening. You'd think any guy would be ecstatic to have a deep, manly voice, right? Well, unfortunately for me, it didn't happen over night, like it did for Phineas. Or at least, like it seemed to for Phineas. Everytime I open my mouth, my voice squeaks. It's humiliating. You think I don't talk much? Imagine what I'm like now.

Another thing, and this is certainly the worst, is the sexual thoughts. When I was a kid, I never even thought about sex. I knew about it, of course, but I never considered I'd want to partake in it. And then BAM. Suddenly I'm having to wash my sheets at four in the morning to keep from anyone finding out I had a wet dream. I'm glad Phineas is a deep sleeper.

And that's another thing. Phineas.

I swear he'll be the death of me too.

It wasn't a gradual thing, me noticing him in a totally non-familial way. Nope. I just walked into our bedroom as he was struggling to put on a super tight pair of jeans, and I got an instant boner. Honestly, I didn't even think I was into guys like that. Especially not my brother. And yet here I am, lamenting over my inappropriate thoughts as my brother washes our parent's car in nothing but a pair of shorts.

Damn, I shouldn't have worn such tight pants. I'm getting scraped to death by my zipper.

Xoxoxo

_Beard_

Baljeet pulled away from their kiss, nose wrinkled. His eyes were frowning in confusion as he ran one hand across Buford's chin. 'You have not shaved this morning.'

'Ever heard of pash rash?' Buford joked, keeping his arms tightly around the smaller boy. When he didn't reply, the bully sighed dramatically, acting as if it were a great pain to explain himself. 'I was thinking of growing a beard.'

'What?' Baljeet tried to stifle his giggles behind his hand, but they bubbled out anyway. 'You? With a beard? Come on, Buford. You are not serious.'

'Deadly serious, runt,' Buford took the hand covering Baljeet's mouth and squeezed it, the sign of deep affection softening his words. 'What's the matter? Think I'd look too manly for you?'

'No,' the Indian let out a snort of derision, 'I like you the way you are. You should not change.'

'Oh, that's bullshit,' Buford rolled his eyes. 'Who says I'm changing for you, or to impress you? Change is a part of life, 'Jeet, and I'm gonna change whether you like it or not.'

'Then who are you changing for?' Baljeet's voice was quiet in the small room, rolling over on Buford's bed to face the boy fully.

'My father used to have a beard, before he...' Buford trailed off, breaking eye contact and staring at the wall. He felt a small hand rest on his cheek, forcing his head back towards Baljeet.

'I changed my mind,' the smaller boy said softly, 'I do not like you the way you are. I like you no matter what.'

Buford chuckled, his momentary sadness shoved aside to make way for love. 'You're such a sap, 'Jeet.'

'But I am your sap.'

Xoxoxo

_Tree_

The tall majestic tree in the backyard of the Flynn-Fletcher household had witnessed many romances develop under the sanctity of it's leaves over the long years. Far back, before the Flynn's and the Fletcher's were living there, it oversaw the love lives of the three young sisters who resided in the house. Each budding romance blossomed under the canopy of the tree, each first kiss was witnessed by it.

And after the sisters were grown and gone, there was the boy, and his first love. The tree saw his heartbreak at the hands of a girl, and it did it's best to comfort him, sheltering him from the harsh wind as he sobbed in his agony.

After the boy left, there came two boys and a girl. First it was Candace, and the tree would shake it's leaves happily each time it saw her and Jeremy enter the backyard, each time they shared a kiss. It watched Phineas and Ferb grow into teenagers, wondering what kind of love lives awaited them.

It never expected things to turn out quite as they had.

'Ferb, you do realize we need to talk about this?'

Phineas stared at his brother incredulously as Ferb continued to read his book and ignore the world around him. The red head was not one for waiting, and his lips pursed as he shoved the taller boy roughly, causing the book to drop to the grass. Ferb looked up and glared, but not one word passed his lips.

'Ferb, come on,' Phineas spread his hands in a gesture of exasperation. 'Please, we have to discuss this.'

'What is there to discuss?' Ferb's voice was icy, even more so than the chilling breeze that ruffled their hair. The tree they were leaning against seemed to move it's branches as if it were trying to block the breeze, and indeed the temperature lifted a little. 'I've made my view on the subject _very _clear.'

'But you didn't give me your reasons!' Phineas' eyebrows drew together in a frown, and one finger dug into the bark of the tree. It seemed to give him strength to keep up the conversation, despite Ferb's stony expression. 'If I could just know _why _you're so adamant it would never happen...'

'Because we're brothers, for God's sake,' Ferb sent a frosty glare his way, and his words dripped venom. 'Ever heard of incest, Phineas?'

'Ever heard of _not blood related_, Ferb?' Phineas snarled back. He took a deep breath and tried to rein in his anger. Nothing would be accomplished if he was too distracted to think straight. 'Look, I know you think it's wrong, but I don't care what anybody else thinks. I can't help the way I feel.'

'There's nothing I can say to convince you to leave this alone, is there?' Ferb tilted his head back to gaze up through the canopy of leaves sheltering them both.

'You could always tell me you don't have feelings for me,' Phineas shrugged lightly, trying to act casual to cover the churning in his stomach, the sweat forming on his brow. This was the moment. It was now or never. He'd find out once and for all. 'Just tell me you only think of me as a brother and I'll never bring this up again.'

He waited what seemed like centuries. He felt as if the world grew old as he waited for those lips to move. For that answer to come. But it never did. Ferb continued to stare up at the leaves as if he'd never even heard Phineas, and the redhead suddenly understood. A devilish smirk formed on his face, and he leaned slightly closer. 'But you _can't_ tell me that, can you?' as he spoke, Ferb tore his gaze away to look at his brother, and their eyes met. 'You can't tell me you don't have feelings for me, because you do. That's why you're being such a jerk right now. You're at war with yourself. You want me but you think you can't have me.'

Ferb's jade green eyes narrowed and his form trembled slightly. 'Stop it.'

'God, you are so easy to read, Ferb,' Phineas continued as if he hadn't heard. 'You think if you push me away you can push away those feelings-'

There was a flurry of limbs and Phineas felt his breath crushed out of him before he became aware of the fact that he was now lying on the ground on his back, with Ferb on top of him. And Ferb's lips on top of his own. It seemed only seconds before the green haired teen pulled away, although still lying on top of his brother, fury and strain clear in his expression. 'Stop! Just stop! I don't want you.'

'Yes you do,' Phineas murmured patiently, trying to ignore the twigs and stones digging into his back, the damp grass seeping through his shirt. 'You want me enough that it's tearing you up inside. That you feel like some sort of freak. A mutant. A monster.'

'How did you...?' Ferb trailed off, trying to read the answers within Phineas' sapphire depths.

'Because I felt exactly the same way before I made the decision to tell you,' the redhead answered with a bitter smile.

Ferb's fingers, which were currently resting on the smaller teen's waist, dug in slightly, the only sign of the internal battle raging. Well, that wasn't entirely true. Phineas could see it in his eyes as well. 'Just give in,' he coaxed. 'You did it once, you can do it again.'

'I can't,' confusion appeared, swirling with the mix of anger, fear and trepidation. Ferb suddenly looked like a lost little child, and all Phineas wanted to do was guide him back home. 'I can't.'

'Yes, you can,' pale fingers rested against Ferb's face, and the taller boy flinched but didn't move away. 'Just kiss me.'

Phineas tried to continue, but suddenly his lips were covered again, and he lost his train of thought, arms flung around his brother's torso in an attempt to bring their bodies closer.

It was certainly a development the tree hadn't expected.

Xoxoxo

_Power_

'Baljeet, thank God,' Buford breathed out, his form shuddering. 'I've been here for over an hour, get me out, will you?'

Baljeet, who looked slightly uneasy inside the football boys locker room, delicately stepped around discarded mud covered shirts and shorts, approaching his bully cautiously. 'Why on earth are you handcuffed to a pipe?'

'My dumbass friends thought it'd be a funny joke,' Buford was sitting on the ground with his arms above his head, and he moved them, causing the handcuffs to rattle against the metal pipe. 'What are you even doing in here, anyway?'

'You were supposed to meet me for lunch, I got worried,' Baljeet set his books down on a wooden bench and stood in front of his boyfriend. 'Do you know where the key is?'

'How should I know?' Buford growled. 'Just get me out of here.'

Baljeet raised his brows at the larger teen's tone, and he leaned down to trace one slim finger across the bully's jaw. 'You are going to have to say please.'

'Don't fuck around, 'Jeet, and just help me,' Buford snarled in response.

'I do not know,' his voice lilting slightly, the Indian slid his hand into brunet hair, tugging slightly. 'Why should I?'

'Because I'll kick your fucking ass,' Buford tried to pull his head away unsuccessfully. 'Fucks sake, Baljeet, just help me!'

'Hmm,' Baljeet leaned down and pressed a kiss to Buford's neck, and heard the tell-tale hitch. 'I think not. I have all the power here.'

'Baljeet...' Buford tried to be firm, but his voice wavered slightly. 'I _will _get you back for this.'

'I am looking forward to that,' the smaller boy grinned, before yanking Buford's head up by the hair and kissing him hungrily.

Xoxoxo

_Penguin_

'P-Perry! This isn't what it looks like!'

Perry's eyes narrowed as he stepped through the rubble of the hole in the building he created. His gaze was trained on another animal in the room, a penguin that Heinz had been petting before Perry had blasted through the wall.

'This is my neighbour's pet! I'm just looking after it for the moment! I swear nothing is going on!'

'I see,' Perry's eyes moved from the penguin's uninterested form to Heinz's worried face. 'Now that I'm human, I'm not enough for you, am I? How much is your neighbour paying you to look after it? Nothing, I bet. You probably jumped at the opportunity.'

'Perry, that's not it at all-' Heinz was cut off as Perry slapped a hand over his mouth, and the former semi-aquatic mammal's attention had switched to the penguin.

Perry made sure he was standing between Heinz and the penguin before barking, 'what do you want with my nemesis?'

The penguin stared at him blankly.

'Answer me!'

'Perry, for God's sake, it's just a penguin,' Heinz frowned, removing Perry's hand from his mouth. 'Look-'

'You are _my _nemesis, you hear me?' Perry snarled, turning on him. Heinz's eyes were wide, he'd never seen this side of him.

'I-I never thought you weren't, Perry,' he said cautiously.

Perry made an animalistic growl and pointed towards the penguin. 'You will get rid of this. Immediately.'

'Perry-'

Once again Heinz was cut off, this time by Perry's mouth over his own. The bruising kiss lasted mere seconds before the agent pulled away started walking towards the door.

'Perry-'

'I want that thing gone by tomorrow, Heinz!' Perry shouted over his shoulder just before the door closed behind him.

Xoxoxo

**Sorry this took so long, guys. Hope you enjoyed.**

**Review, please! Reviewers get cheesecake! CHEESECAKE! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Welcome back, guys! Hope you enjoyed the last one, and hope you enjoy this one.**

**I was originally going to make _Parents _about Phineas and Ferb coming out to Linda and Lawrence, but that seemed too obvious. So I went with my next brain wave. Hope its more interesting! **

Xoxoxo

_Dragon_

Phineas waited impatiently outside Ferb's art class, his books held to his chest. He was leaning against the wall opposite the door, tapping his foot. He'd just had history and he was in no mood for more boredom. He thought he'd like the subject, but his teacher's monotone voice could make even one of Phineas and Ferb's inventions boring.

People were walking past him on their way to the cafeteria. The redhead heard and felt the rumble in his tummy, and his tapping became more frenzied. Why the hell were they taking so long?

Finally, after what seemed like hours but was probably only minutes, the door to the art class opened and students began to file out. Phineas searched the crowd for the familiar green hair, but he couldn't see it. Frowning, he took a step forward but stopped short at the yelling he heard from within the classroom.

'Give it back!' that was definitely Ferb's deep voice with its English tint.

'No! I'm showing it to him! It's so adorable!' Isabella's high voice this time, followed by giggles.

'Come on, Isa, it's embarrassing!'

'Get over it! If it were up to you, you'd just stash this in your sock drawer never to be seen again!'

'It's my decision, not yours!'

'Well, it should be mine!'

The raven-haired teen appeared at the door, and when she spied Phineas, an evil grin formed on her lips. 'Phineas! Look at what Ferb drew for you!'

'Isabella!' Ferb came out of the classroom just as the girl waved a piece of paper in Phineas' face, and the British teen covered his face with his hands. 'Oh for crying out loud...'

Phineas snatched the paper out of his friend's hand and studied it. It was a wonderfully drawn picture of a dragon. It's green scales actually looked like they were shimmering, and the details were breathtakingly clear. Riding on it's back was a redheaded warrior brandishing a sword and bellowing a war cry. Phineas traced a finger along the warrior's face, looking up at Ferb with a smile. 'Is this me?'

'Sure is,' Isabella cut in before Ferb could say anything, wearing a huge smile. 'Isn't it just so sweet?'

'I love it,' Phineas carefully put it between the pages of one of his books so it wouldn't get crinkled or bent, and then he gave his step-brother a hug. It was rather awkward, considering the green-haired boy was far taller and broader than Phineas, but he returned the hug all the same. 'Thanks, Ferb.'

'No problem,' Ferb's cheeks were slightly flushed, and he was wearing an embarrassed grin. 'Should we go get lunch?'

'Thank god, I'm starved.'

Xoxoxo

_Parents_

'That's it,' Buford stood abruptly and wiped at his newly milk-stained shirt, glaring daggers at Baljeet. 'I'm outta here.'

'NO!' the Indian, hindered by the baby in his arms, still managed to lurch forward and latch onto the bully's wrist. 'Please, for the love of anything and everything, stay. I can not look after my baby sister on my own.'

'And my shirts can't take the mess,' Buford growled, but he sat down obediently. He studied the stain on his shirt more closely. It had been from Baljeet's little sister, Priya, knocking the bottle out of her older brother's hand and onto Buford. It looked like it would come out in the wash. Hopefully.

'Why can't your parents look after their demon spawn, anyway?' the larger boy asked, leaning back as he watched his best friend once again attempt to feed Priya. This time she latched onto the bottle and began drinking peacefully. A look of relief passed over Baljeet's face, and it made the fuzzy fluttery feeling in Buford's stomach grow stronger. It was always strange seeing the person you were secretly in love with holding a baby. It made you imagine having some of your own with them some day.

'Mother has been house bound for weeks now,' Baljeet informed him, rocking his sister very gently as she fed. 'She deserves a night out.'

'She was the one who got knocked up, not me,' the bully complained. 'Why do I have to help you look after the brat?'

'Because we are best friends, and that is what best friends do?' Baljeet told him with a grin. There was a ding sound from the kitchen, and a gasp escaped the boy's lips. 'Oh, no, our dinner will burn. Here, take her for a minute.'

'What? No!' Buford spluttered, but the baby was already being shoved into his arms, and it was either hold her or let her fall, and somehow he didn't think Baljeet, nor his parents, would be too impressed about that.

The Indian teen fled the room into the kitchen, and Buford was left holding a baby. He attempted to give her the bottle that Baljeet had set down on the coffee table next to the couch they had been sitting on, but she stubbornly refused. Sighing, he gave up and just rocked her the way he'd seen her brother do. Priya even looked kind of like her brother. She gurgled a little and held up a tiny hand, and despite his annoyance, Buford found himself smiling.

Enveloping her hand in his, making sure to be gentle, Buford began to talk to her. Oddly enough, it soothed him and seemed to soothe her too. 'You're trouble, you know that?'

Priya made a giggling noise that was always so adorable when it came from infants.

'Okay, so maybe you're the _tiniest_ bit cute as well,' he admitted with a snort. 'But you're related to Baljeet, so that's not exactly hard. It's in your genes.'

Priya continued to make noises, but her eyes were trained on him. He wondered if she could understand what he was saying.

'But just because you're related to the most important person in my life, does not mean you get to spill milk on me, you hear?' he scolded gently, receiving a giggle in return.

He glanced up to see Baljeet standing in the doorway, a plate in each hand, grinning widely as he watched. 'I see you two are getting along.'

An irritating blush came to his cheeks, and it embarrassed him all the more. 'Well, as much as one super ultra cool guy and an annoying little brat can get along, anyway.'

Baljeet placed their plates on the coffee table and sat down next to Buford, leaning close to look at his sister's face. After a moment he looked up at the bully without leaning away, and their faces ended up being startlingly close. A tiny smirk was playing at Baljeet's lips. 'Most important person in your life, am I?' he teased.

'Oh shut it,' Buford grumbled.

'Do you want me to put her in her crib while we eat?' the smaller teen asked, moving away and dropping the subject obediently, although he was still smirking.

'Nah, I can hold her and eat at the same time,' Buford picked up his fork with his free hand and glanced down at Priya, who had fallen fast asleep and seemed quite comfortable in his arms. 'I ain't never wanting kids.'

But seeing the tender look on Buford's face when he looked at the baby, Baljeet knew that was a lie.

Xoxoxo

_Hope_

My life had been totally perfect right up until my second to last year of high school. Okay, granted, there were some shitty times, my father dying for instance, but that did lead to Mom marrying Lawrence and him bringing Ferb into the family. I'm not saying it's a good thing Dad died, but there _was_ good in all the horrible stuff I had to go through.

Anyway, my life had been pretty cool. I was popular, I made awesome inventions every single day and what kid can honestly say they have a freakin' platypus as a pet? And once I hit high school, I started dating the _awesomest _(and hottest, I have to admit)girl you will ever meet, Isabella Garcia-Shapiro. Now you have to agree, my life was awesome. I got good grades, I never got into trouble, I never got bullied, I was crowned Prom King... The list goes on.

And then Ferb just had to go and get a girlfriend.

I've read some pretty horrid romance novels over the years. Don't judge me, boys can do that. I was just looking for something in Candace's room years ago and found an interesting looking book, and I kinda got hooked on romances. Most of them, I have to say, are shit. They're all the same, and it's frustrating. The heroine is always stunningly beautiful with a fiery temper who resists the hero at first but can't help but fall in love with him. The hero is always dark and mysterious, untamed, and usually hates love or thinks it's stupid. There's always some dire situation that forces them to work together and then they realize they love each other and get married. And then I have to force myself through a horribly written sex scene. I mean, seriously, 'he drank from her well of nectar, her beauty was intoxicating, blah blah blah' who writes like that?

Now I'm making it sound like I hate romance novels. Don't get me wrong, I love them. It's just... they suck. It's possible to love things and be aware that they suck at the same time. Like my secret obsession for a low-budget mermaid tv-show with crappy special effects and so many plot holes it isn't funny. But no one is supposed to know about that. Granted, there are a few gems hidden in the pig trough that is romance novels. You can stumble upon one that's so beautifully written and so original, it just gives you hope for humanity. Like, if life could turn out like that book, you'd be forever happy.

I'm getting completely off-topic here. As I was saying, romance novels. You get a lot of them that have some random character popping up, and it seems the only purpose for this character is creating jealously. Like, some dumbass hits on the heroine and the hero gets super jealous and scares him off, and then he realizes that he's totally attracted to the heroine. I mean, why else would you get jealous?

That's what Ferb's new girlfriend is like. In my eyes, she's the totally useless character that gets booted out of the book (or my life) after she serves her purpose. Oh, and she served her purpose alright. I saw her kissing him one time and my blood just fucking boiled. All I wanted to do was storm over there and get her the fuck off my step-brother. She helped me realize that I had feelings for him.

And that's when everything turned to shit. It's not like I wasn't attracted to Isabella anymore. I mean, hey, head cheerleader, Prom Queen? She sounds perfect, right? But she has the worst flaw. Everyone has flaws, and I normally accept those. But not hers.

She is a _raging _bitch if I even glance at another girl.

Jealously. I'm such a hypocrite, right? But yeah, I guess its fortunate that the only other person I like is both male and my step-brother. I can ogle him all I like and she doesn't suspect a thing. But woe is me if I get caught letting Wendy borrow my pen, because _obviously_ that means I want to get into her pants.

Not.

Sheesh, I don't know if Isabella's suddenly got more annoying, or if I only just noticed it now. But one day she was chewing me out for complimenting some girl's new hairstyle and I just snapped. I told her to get over it and just dumped her then and there.

You can imagine the school's reaction over that one. Prom King and Queen break up, headline fucking news!

And because I was newly single, I focused my thoughts and fantasies on the only other person to catch my eye. Ferb.

Now, not all of the reason I hate his girlfriend is because I was jealous. Its only _part _of the reason. The rest is that she treated me like I was about to rape her or something. If I went anywhere near her, she started screeching not to touch her and to get away.

For fucks sake, I don't look that much like a creeper, do I?

I think she knew I like Ferb, because I know damn well she only acted that way around me so Ferb would get guilty and ditch me so she'd be more 'comfortable'. I think she spun some story about being abused when she was little or something, and I brought back memories, and that's why she was so 'scared' of me. When no one else was around, she didn't care if I was near her. In fact, she got right up in my personal space and tried to make me feel like shit. But she seemed to make Ferb happy, so I didn't want to mention anything to him. I could handle it if she made him happy.

But in the end, I didn't have to put up with her. One sunny afternoon, just after she'd had a go at me for anything and everything she could think of, she walked out of Ferb and I's bedroom with a smug look and left me leaning against the wall with my head in my hands. I'm a pretty confident guy and all, but getting insulted at an almost daily rate can really make you upset sometimes.

And that's when Ferb came out from under the bed where he'd apparently been hiding. Okay, he wasn't hiding on purpose. He'd crawled under there to grab some comic book or whatever, and when his girlfriend and I walked in, her screeching insults and me telling her to fuck off, he stayed quiet and listened to the whole thing. When she left, he came out and just put his arms around me. After a few minutes of silent holding, he took my hand, led me downstairs to where the bitch was watching TV, and fucking went psycho at her.

I had _never _seen him so angry before. He was literally shaking from pent up rage, and his voice was hoarse by the end of it. He told her that if she ever spoke one word to either of us again, she'd regret it, and that no one was allowed to bully his brother.

Which was kind of a bitter sweet moment, because yeah he defended me, but he referred to me as his brother, which isn't exactly promising.

And then he dumped her and kicked her out of the house. She lived ages away and he was supposed to drive her back but he told her she could walk home. That was an epic moment. I'd never been more proud of him.

Once she'd gone he'd told me that not one word of what she'd said was true, and that I was the awesomest guy he knew. And then he kissed me on the forehead.

I mean, I know it could fall under the brotherly-act-of-kindness category, but him hugging me, holding my hand, defending me and then kissing me?

I dunno, it kinda gives me hope.

Xoxoxo

_Movies_

Baljeet loved going to the movie theaters. The darkness masked all viewers. He could sit in the same row as the boys who tormented him and they would not know he was there unless he made his presence obvious. He could lose himself in the tale unfolding on the screen, be absorbed into the same world as the other's, hoping for a happy ending, crying at the deaths.

Now he loved the movies for a very different reason.

'Quit talking and watch the movie, Phineas,' Buford rumbled beside him, speaking to the redheaded teen who was on the other side of the burly footballer. On the other side of Phineas was Ferb, and beside him was Isabella. The whole group out to watch another movie.

'But the acting is so horrible! Look at her face! There's no emotion at all!' Phineas crossed his arms, his lower lip protruding in a pout. 'I could do a better job than her.'

He was about to go on with his rant but abruptly he just stopped. Baljeet craned to look around Buford and see why. He could just make out Ferb's hand over the redhead's in the darkness. A smile tugged at his lips. How sweet.

When he leaned back into his seat, he reached over for his drink, jumping with his hand brushed warm flesh instead. Wide brown eyes jolted up to stare at Buford, who only grinned and entwined their fingers together. 'We ain't going to let them outdo us, are we? We can be more romantic than they can.'

'You really want to compete with Phineas and Ferb?' Baljeet whispered back, rolling his eyes. Inside, though, he was melting.

'You bet.'

Now it was the darkness he loved. How he could lean into Buford, touch him, be with him, and no one else would notice. If they did, they certainly couldn't make out enough features in the black room to identify them. They were anonymous and could do whatever they wanted.

'Eurgh,' Isabella's voice drifted by them. 'You guys are so gross with your PDA. I really need to find myself a boyfriend.'

Baljeet let out a chuckle.

Buford's hand tightened around his.

Xoxoxo

_Once_

It was a great honor to bow before the Queen and receive her welcome. Her beauty was spoken of throughout the kingdom, long raven hair that reached a slim waist, teamed with electric blue eyes, wide and searching. For what he did not know. On her head was a delicate weaving of gold and jewels, marking her station, her royalty. She was beauty personified. She was Isabella.

'Welcome, knights.'

Her words were the signal to rise from his bow. He did so, sparing a glance at the man beside him who was straightening as well. He knew this man, and something about him struck a chord. He could not tell if those jade eyes spelled his doom, or secured his future.

They were to fight to the death.

The Queen in all her beauty had grown cold, and no love or life lit her eyes. They were still wide, still searching, but once she announced their sentence, they took on an icy glaze. He was still reeling from her words.

To be worthy of her hand in marriage, one of them must defeat the other. To be worthy of her hand, brother must fight brother in a deadly match of swords.

And the victor would be crowned King.

Phineas faced his brother in a deserted corridor of the palace, searching those green eyes for a glimmer of the love they once held. It was night, the Queen was in her chambers, and both brothers had decided to roam their prison on the eve of their battle. One of them would die in the morn.

'Brother,' Phineas murmured, his body going as cold as those eyes watching him now. 'We need not do this.'

Ferb tilted his head just slightly in response. _We must._

'Please,' Phineas tried again, the slightest tremor detectible in his voice. 'We need not let anyone decide our destiny, be it a witch, a Queen, or Fate itself. We can run away together and live in peace.'

Ferb's eyes flickered towards the one window facing the north, towards their childhood home. _And what of Father?_

'Father wants the kingdom at his fingertips, without the responsibility it brings. He is merely using us, Brother,' redheaded warrior took a step forward. 'He does not care which one of us is crowned. He does not care which one of us dies in the mud whilst the kingdom looks on and screams for blood. He does not care for us. He does not care for you. But _I do_.'

The broader warrior took a step back, away from his advancing brother. In the distance they could hear the murmuring of a slave, the croak of a night frog, a child singing. It was an eery soundtrack to their one-sided conversation. His hand went to the sword strapped to his hip and tightened around the hilt warningly. _Not another step, Brother._

'Ferb,' Phineas' voice cracked in desperation, though he stopped obligingly. 'Father cares for power, he cares for the throne. I care for you, I care for your happiness. I wish for your laughter, and your smile. I wish to be the shoulder you cry on, the ear you whisper to. We need not do this.'

Ferb's eyes travelled away, resting on his sword. _I will if I must._

'Will she make you happy?' the warrior, still so young, whispered. He was but a boy in armor, a deadly weapon and at such a young age. They had trained since infancy. They were the best. They had always prided themselves on it. And now they were being punished for it. 'Will the Queen fulfill your every desire? Will she cause your smile, your laugh? You know you have only smiled for me. You have only laughed for me.'

Jade green eyes narrowed as they locked with blue. Such a soft, gentle aqua. So different from the cold, stabbing ice-blue of the Queen's. His lips thinned and his head made a jerking motion, just once. _Yes. She will fulfill me._

It was a lie, and they both knew it.

But Phineas let it be.

The morn came, bringing with it the crow's cry and the chatter of the townspeople as they crowded the arena, waiting for the show the Queen had promised. The royal was standing in a box high above the dirt ground, her soft red dress fluttering in the gentle wind. As the sun climbed into the sky, so did the two warriors climb into the arena.

It was over before it began.

The Queen had announced the battle's begin, and the brothers had rushed at each other, one screaming a war cry and the other's face screwed up in determination. But when the redhead came face-to-face with his brother, when their swords were whistling through the cool air towards each other, he loosened his grip and dropped his weapon.

Ferb's blade sank into the flesh of his stomach, burning like acid. A distressed cry fell from the green-haired man's lips, his eyes widening in shock and horror. He pulled the hilt, letting the silver slip out of his brother and watching the crimson liquid bubble forth. They both dropped to the dirt. He cried unabashedly, cradling Phineas' body in his arms, burying his face in the still-warm neck of his brother.

Time passed. The jeers and screams of the crowd were nothing to him. His entire being was centered on the rapidly cooling body in his arms.

He almost screamed when the guards snatched it away, but he was soon dragged to stand before the Queen, kneeling in the dirt as she smiled at him. It was a beautiful smile. It reminded him of sharp glass. Wine red lips opened and she spoke, words branding him forever.

'All hail the King.'

Xoxoxo

**Okay, _Once _was totally inspired by Snow White and The Huntsman. And it was so angsty and dramatic. I'm almost ashamed at how much angst that was. **

**Damn you, imagination. Why must you think up such depressing things? Now I want to cry.**

**Also, you can totally see how much I dislike Isabella in this. **

**...Why did I make the ending Ferbella? I hate that pairing. What is wrong with me?**

**And why do I seem to be writing so much implied Phinerb, and not actual Phinerb? Gah. **

**No Perryshmirtz this time, sorry!**

**Review? Reviews get cupcakes! CUPCAKES! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Welcome back!**

**Okay, so I finally reached the best chapter in my BuJeet fic "Keeping Secrets", right? I want to write it so badly. Unfortunately, my friend Ashlee (who plans this shit) hasn't finished the plan yet. **

**She basically told me she won't give me the plan until I update my three other stories (this, "After Sex" and "The Conception Anomaly") so thank her for the fast update. Otherwise this wouldn't have been out until... like... months. I'm so focused on other things right now xD**

**Also, I do realize that sometimes the ficlets I write don't seem to match up to the words that inspired them. They are connected! Just... not obviously. I won't treat you to explanations about how they're connected, but if you want to know, just ask. (A perfect example would be _Wheel_. Does not make sense. But in my head they are connected!)**

**_Wall _is pretty much a carry on from _Wheel_.**

**Enjoy!**

Xoxoxo

_Wheel_

Ferb's favourite time of the year would have to be New Years Eve. The days leading up to it were always fraught with excitement, and people would always be in a festive mood left over from Christmas. As he sipped his beer on a cool December 31st on the porch in his backyard, he watched the others with some interest. It seemed they all had a role to play on this day, and over the years those roles hardly ever changed.

Candace, he noted with just the barest lifting of the corners of his mouth, was already tipsy and the alcohol had done wonders for her. She was no longer stressing out about work, bills and her upcoming wedding. She was relaxed and happy, laughing at a poorly worded joke as she leaned into her fiancé's embrace.

Jeremy seemed to be enjoying the change in the redheaded girl. His arm was around her waist and he was watching her with a tender look that Ferb had come to know as his 'I love you' face, reserved for Candace and Candace only. He had draped his jacket over his shoulders to protect them from the chilly afternoon air, not minding if he got cold in the process.

Ferb shifted his attention to his parents. His father was cooking various meats on the barbeque despite the cold weather, Linda standing beside him as they chatted away to Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro. They were both uproariously happy, the booze and the good company lifting their spirits and making them oblivious to anything around them.

Which was just as well. The green-haired young man watched as Isabella, now a breathtakingly gorgeous young woman, tried her best to open the garage, which he knew would be locked tightly. Ever since they hit their second year of high school, Buford and Baljeet had preferred to keep their displays of affection hidden from view. They'd adopted the garage as their own whenever they were at the Flynn-Fletcher household, much to their raven haired friend's chagrin. She tried each year to 'bust them' as Candace would put it, and each year she failed. Although she acted as if it annoyed her, everyone knew she was only curious and not all that worried.

There were other people there he either didn't know or knew them only vaguely. He'd hoped his old friend Vanessa would make it with her boyfriend Johnny, but they'd decided to spend the Christmas holidays in Paris. It was disappointing, but he knew he'd see her in the following week when they got back.

Arms encircled his waist. Ferb didn't say anything as he turned around, raising his arms around Phineas so that the other male didn't need to pull away or shift. Bright blue eyes greeted him, along with a cheerful grin. "What're you doing all on your own, Ferb? I thought you'd be helping Isabella with her busting."

"I was waiting for you," he answered, resting his beer on top of that messy red hair playfully, eliciting a laugh from his companion. "I only want to spend tonight with you."

"Ditto," Phineas replied, stepping a little closer as Ferb finally placed the beer on the little table near them before resting his hands on his brother's hips. "It's funny how things turn out."

Ferb hummed in agreement, pressing a gentle kiss to the young man's temple. Phineas' gaze slid over to their parents. Lawerence wasn't paying attention, but Linda was watching them with a wry grin. It had been a huge relief when their parents had accepted them without question. Everyone else took their lead and treated the brothers the same as usual. The men, both in their early twenties, couldn't have been happier.

"It all seems so surreal," the redhead sighed in content, leaning his head on Ferb's chest. "To think this time last year I was going out of my mind with nerves, preparing to tell you how I felt. How I feel."

"I'm glad you did," Ferb rested his chin on top of his brother's head, his eyes trained on the stars above them.

"So am I," Phineas' voice was steady yet filled with emotion. "This last year has been like a dream."

"A good dream, I hope," Ferb chuckled.

"The best dream," Phineas confirmed, pulling away enough to look up at the green-haired man. He tilted his head back and went on his tip-toes, both clear signs of begging to be kissed. Ferb complied, leaning down and brushing their lips together. It felt just as amazing, just as arousing as the first time they'd done it.

"Happy one year anniversary," Phineas smiled. He glanced around the backyard, frowning slightly. "Hey, where's Perry?"

"He said he had someone to visit," Ferb chuckled, burying his face in soft red strands. "You know what he's like, always disappearing."

"Oh well," the man, still so much like a child, grinned. After a moment it softened into a tender smile. "I love you."

"And I, you."

Xoxoxo

_Wall_

"Really, Perry the Platyman?" Heinz sighed in irritation as the current object of his annoyance trudged past him, shoving a bottle of champagne into his arms. The Doctor tapped his foot against the ground, gesturing towards the human sized hole in his wall. "Was that really necessary? I'm not even doing anything evil tonight. And why are you here?"

"Force of habit," the teal-haired man replied, giving a careless shrug. He didn't bother apologizing. "And I'm here because I knew you'd be spending the night alone, which is just depressing, even for you."

"So you came here?" the brunet raised an eyebrow before glancing down at the champagne and setting it on the counter. He began to pull out wine glasses from his cupboard.

"Well, I wasn't going to invite you to my place," Perry replied, plonking himself down on Heinz's couch and fixing the man with a penetrating stare that visibly unsettled the other room occupant. "Not only would it violate just about every rule in the OWCA handbook, my owners deserve some time to themselves and knowing you, you'd manage to blow the house up."

"Hey!" Heinz argued, handing Perry a glass of bubbling liquid and sitting down opposite with his own. "That's not true. I'm not _that _bad."

Perry only stared at him incredulously, making the scientist squirm in his seat. "Okay," he muttered after a few moments. "So _maybe _I'm a _little _clumsy, but honestly, I've only ever blown up a house twice!"

"That makes it so much better," the former animal droned, voice dripping with sarcasm. Heinz glared at him so he took a cautious sip of the champagne before changing the subject. "I've never tried alcohol before. Its good."

"Yeah, well," Heinz shrugged. "Don't have too much of it. I don't want you drunk on me."

"Really, Doctor," the teal-haired man leaned back in his seat, crossing his legs. His entire being oozed self confidence. "I think I can handle a few drinks."

What a load of fucking shit, Heinz thought only a few hours later, watching Perry as the man grappled with one of his lamps. The man had been stumbling throughout the living room when he'd brushed against the object and his secret agent instincts must have kicked in because he'd just launched himself at it.

After a few moments of watching with an amused smirk, Heinz finally strolled over and gripped the back of Perry's collar, hauling him up. "I told you not to drink the whole damn bottle, you know."

"I'm fi-I-ne!" Perry grinned, his voice hiccuping in the middle. Heinz rolled his eyes and gestured towards his fridge.

"You had the whole bottle of champagne and then half a bottle of wine I got as a present for Vanessa."

"Well, Mr Grumpy Doctor," Perry returned the eye roll and wandered over to the kitchen, which was connected to the living room. He held up the half full wine bottle and went back over to his nemesis. "I think you need to lighten up."

It wasn't the fact Perry managed to wrestle him to the ground the force the wine down his throat that surprised him. It was that he pulled it off so perfectly despite being completely smashed for the first time in his life. Perry was straddling his hips, one hand pinning his chest down whilst the other held the wine bottle to his lips. He choked on the red liquid, doing his best to swallow it rather than cough it up everywhere. By the time the smaller man pulled the bottle away, allowing Heinz to finally breathe, the Doctor felt pleasantly dizzy and relaxed.

"You know," he muttered, bringing his hand up to brush silky strands of teal hair away from mischievous brown eyes. "You're not so bad now that you're human."

There was a loud chiming sound and both men glanced to the side, seeing Heinz's large grandfather clock had struck midnight. They turned back to each other, wearing identical grins. "Happy new year, Doof."

"Doof? What the hell kind of a nickname is tha-"

The kiss that cut him off was only the first of many more to come.

Xoxoxo

_Folder_

"Hey, Buford, have you seen my manilla folder?" Baljeet called as he tore through his room, trying to find the missing object. His bully was lazing around on the bed reading a comic, and he didn't even look up.

"What colour is it?"

Baljeet glanced over at him with a huff, eyebrows drawn together in a frown. "It is cream coloured."

"What was in it?"

"My assignment for History! I spent weeks on it! It is due tomorrow and I swear I put it right here," the smaller boy gestured helplessly to his desk, where no manilla folder was present.

"Really?" finally Buford sat up, seeming to take interest. It is about time, Baljeet thought. "So, it's pretty important to you?"

"Of course it is important to me! If I do not hand it in, I will not get any marks and I will fail History!" Baljeet crossed his arms. "I have never failed a subject. Ever."

"You failed P.E.," Buford pointed out with a smirk.

"That does not count as a subject," Baljeet said haughtily. "All you do is run around and get hit in the face with various balls and- why are you laughing?"

Buford, who had begun to snicker halfway through his sentence, burst into full out laughter, holding his sides. "Various balls, huh?" he gasped out.

"You are disgusting," Baljeet scowled, watching the boy roll around on his bed, messing up the covers. "But you never answered my question. Have you seen my folder?"

"Yup," Buford wiped away a stray tear that had leaked out, finally getting control of himself. "I hid it."

"You _what_?" the smaller boy gasped, fists clenching in suppressed anger and frustration. "Tell me where you put it, right now, Buford, or I swear I will-!"

"You swear you'll what, 'Jeet?" Buford pushed himself off the bed and stalked towards his nerd, making the boy cower slightly in response. Taking full advantage of their height differences, he towered over the Indian in an intimidating manner. "You gonna hit me? Tell on me? Beat me up?"

"Buford," the boy's voice was now more of a whine, wide brown eyes looking up pleadingly. "Please, I need that assignment. Why would you hide it?"

"'Cause I love messin' with you, 'Jeet," the bully chuckled, ruffling curly black hair. "Let's make a deal. You do what I want, and I'll give you back your precious folder."

Baljeet was ready to tell him to get lost then and there, but he really wanted his folder back. "What would you want me to do?" he asked cautiously instead.

"First off, you're coming with me to Phineas and Ferb's place, got it?" the bully didn't wait for a reply, grabbing the boy's wrist and dragging him out of the room and down the stairs.

"Buford! I never agreed, and- Buford!" Baljeet cried out in exasperation.

"Hurry up, wimp!" was all the reply he got. Resigned, the Indian obediently followed his bully in silence all the way to their friend's house.

Upon entering, however, both boys were showered with confetti. Shouts of, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" could be heard, and Baljeet saw that all his friends were there, wearing party hats and holding empty confetti throwers.

The Indian turned a murderous glare onto Buford, spitting out through gritted teeth, "I told you I did not want a party! I need to focus on m—"

"'Jeet, shut up," Buford rolled his eyes, pulling the boy into the middle of the room, where there was a stack of presents on top of a table. On top of the presents was one manilla folder in pristine shape. "I wasn't going to let you get away with having no party. I wanted cake."

Baljeet frowned at him, only about ninety percent sure the other boy was joking. With a sigh, he forced his body to relax and he glanced around the room at all his friends. "Well, thank you, I guess."

"It's not everyday you turn seventeen, now is it?" Buford grinned.

Xoxoxo

_Interested_

"So, I was thinking we could build a fun park on our asteroid, right next to the milk shake bar. It'd get so much more business that way, and–" Phineas paused in the middle of his sentence, glancing over at his brother, who was staring blankly at the TV. "...Are you even listening to me?"

The change in Phineas' tone must have caught Ferb's attention, because the other teen glanced over, green eyes questioning. "Sorry, what?"

"You weren't listening to me," Phineas confirmed, sounding a little upset. "What's with you? You're acting like you're not even interested in building something today."

"I'm not," Ferb replied dully.

"What?" Phineas' brows drew together in a frown, and he shuffled closer on the couch. He no longer sounded a little upset, he now sounded completely bewildered and unhappy. "How could you say that, Ferb? Have you forgotten about _Carpe Diem_?"

"Of course I haven't," Ferb picked up the remote from its spot on his lap and tapped the off button. Instantly the TV screen went black. He turned to his brother with a look Phineas couldn't identify. "I'm still planning on making today count."

"Then how...?"

"I was going to wait until after lunch," Ferb cut in. "But now is as good a time as any. Come on."

He stood from the couch and held out a hand for the smaller teen, who took it curiously. He was led to the front door, where the green-haired boy took their coats from a hanger and handed them to Phineas. Then they were out the door and climbing into Candace's old car that she had given to Ferb on his seventeenth birthday. He'd souped it up a bit, of course, but it was still named the Candace Crusher Two.

"Ferb, where are we going?" Phineas sighed, staring out the window as his brother pulled out of their driveway and into the street.

"On a date." it was said simply, without much emotion.

Despite that, however, the words still managed to make Phineas' heart jump into his throat and his stomach to feel like it was twisting into a million knots. They'd acknowledged their feelings for each other the month before, but they'd never actually gone out on a date officially before. Phineas found his cheeks growing pink in pleasure at the thought. "Oh, alright."

They drove in comfortable silence for a while before they pulled up in front of the movie theater. Phineas stared at it for a moment, before looking over at Ferb, who had just pulled the key out of the ignition. "Wait a minute, why are we here? Why didn't we just watch a movie at home? Or build our own theater?"

"Because," Ferb's voice was still neutral, but he leaned over and brushed his fingers against his step-brother's cheek. "I'm not interested in any of that. All I'm interested in today is you."

"You're such a dork," Phineas teased with a pleased grin. His brother snorted in response, so the redhead took the initiative and leaned forward, pressing their lips together gently.

Xoxoxo

_Sleep_

Baljeet hadn't exactly been okay with the suggestion of a road trip, he had summer holidays homework to finish after all. But it only took a little coaxing (and maybe a little bullying) from Buford for him to agree. After all, he'd have Phineas, Ferb and Isabella there too. It wasn't like he was going to be left at the mercy of his bully for a full week at the summer home they were heading to.

Apparently the trip was to celebrate Ferb getting his full licence. The British teen didn't say anything, but Baljeet was pretty sure he wouldn't be pleased about the fact he had to drive the rest of them around for four hours, and then drive them all back once the week was up. But he couldn't get out of it now, he'd agreed, albeit reluctantly. Baljeet knew Ferb could never say no whenever Phineas asked something of him.

The day they set off had been an early start. Even Baljeet, who got up at eight each morning in order to study, was unhappy about the hour they had to be up. Getting up at six was just so... barbaric. But they had to be off by seven, because apparently they were supposed to do a gig at some sort of event at midday, not that Baljeet had been given any choice in that. He was just supposed to play his guitar and not complain. Life really hated him sometimes.

It was a little heartening to see the others weren't so happy about the early hour either. Baljeet was the first to arrive at Phineas and Ferb's at precisely six thirty, and he was greeted with a hot cup of cocoa by their mother. The boys were apparently trying to locate a missing microphone and weren't ready yet.

By the time they'd found it and come downstairs, Isabella had arrived. The ravenette looked just as tired as the boys. All three of them were moving rather sluggishly and Phineas looked ready to fall asleep over his cup of cocoa.

None of them even compared to Buford. The bully slumped into the house around ten past seven carrying a couple of bags and looking like he hadn't slept for a week. Heavy bags were present under his eyes and he looked like he might collapse at any second. Baljeet found great malicious pleasure at seeing his bully so unhappy, but that soon faded when he found out he had to sit next to him in the car.

Both he and Isabella were unhappy about the seating arrangements, but Phineas wasn't really paying attention to their protests. Ferb was driving, of course, that much was obvious. But Phineas insisted on being in the front next to his brother with the map, just in case they got lost. Isabella had been hoping Phineas would be sitting in the back so she could spend four hours pressed close to him. Unfortunately for her, she would be spending four hours pressed close to Baljeet, who in turn would be pressed close to Buford, as the small Indian teen was in the middle.

He hadn't wanted that seat at all, but Isabella had flat out refused to sit between the bully and his nerd. He didn't blame her. And Buford was too large to sit in the middle. It wasn't like he was fat or anything (in reality, he'd toned up quite a bit thanks to football) but he was still the largest and it was just a general rule that the smallest person sits in the middle. It should have been Isabella, but with her unwilling, that only left Baljeet.

They were already late so Baljeet's protests were ignored and they were all bundled up in the car. Ferb pulled out of the driveway and away they went. The minute they got out of the boys' street, Buford's head landed on Baljeet's shoulder and he began to snore loudly. The small teen let out a whine of protest and tried to move, but the jostling only awoke his bully and earned him a rather hard punch to his shoulder. He tried to complain to Isabella, but she was having none of it and put her headphones in after the first few minutes.

Resigned, Baljeet settled back into his seat and tried to ignore the dead weight on his right shoulder, instead chipping in to Phineas and Ferb's conversation every now and again. After an hour Phineas claimed he needed to go to the bathroom, so they stopped at a small diner in the middle of nowhere. Buford wasn't happy about being woken up, but he decided that he wanted to get some coffee so Baljeet gratefully slipped out of the car without being hassled.

They all voided their bladders and made some sort of purchase before Phineas ordered them back in the car. He was keeping a watchful eye on the time, making sure they wouldn't be late for their gig. Baljeet had been hoping he'd be able to get a different seat, but no such luck. One glare from Isabella had him scampering into the middle seat and doing up his seatbelt quickly.

Buford, now much more awake from his nap and coffee, didn't fall asleep on him again, but Baljeet seemed to be the opposite. Now that his right side wasn't numb he was slowly becoming more and more exhausted, the gentle humming and vibrations of the car lulling him to sleep.

He woke up hours later to a jab in his side from Isabella. He jumped, realizing that he'd had his head on Buford's shoulder the whole time. Fighting back a blush and wiping at his eyes blearily, he saw that they had made it to the summer house they were supposed to be staying in and that the others were beginning to exit the car.

His neck was sore from the way he'd been sleeping. He was still leaning heavily on his bully, and he glanced up at Buford who was just watching him with a raised eyebrow. They were the only ones still in the car. Baljeet was still fighting sleepiness and wasn't quite awake yet, so he hadn't left straight away. Words slipped out without thinking. "You let me sleep on you."

"Figured I should, seeing as you let me do the same," Buford said with a shrug, still waiting for Baljeet to stop leaning on him.

"That is different," oh, this was better. Conversation always worked wonders in helping him become more awake. Baljeet slowly became less and less sleepy. "I got hit if I moved. You would not have gotten hit."

Buford shrugged his broad shoulders and Baljeet finally leaned away, undoing his seatbelt. The bully did the same. "Yeah, well, you're kinda cute when you sleep. Oh, and did I mention you sleep talk?"

A brilliant blush spread over the Indian's face, but the bigger teen had already opened the door and climbed out of the car, ready to go inspect the house they'd be staying in. Oh dear lord, what had he said in his sleep? What embarrassing secret had Buford learned this time?

"Buford!" he called, struggling out of the car. "Buford, what did I say?!"

He only got laughter in response.

Xoxoxo

**For some reason I just love the idea of the gang going on holiday together. Those car rides would be so interesting. Poor Isabella, getting put in the backseat with those two quibbling enemies. **

**I do realize the order of these stories is completely out of whack. Usually I do it Phinerb, BuJeet, Phinerb, BuJeet, Perryshmirtz. But I couldn't be bothered moving these around to fit that. Oh well.**

**Review? Reviewers get... Damn I'm running out of ideas for this. **

**Reviewers get cocoa! COCOA!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Welcome back, guys. Turns out that despite the fact I freaked out and wrote the whole last chapter in one go, thinking Ashlee wouldn't give me the plan for Keeping Secrets, she hadn't actually finished it. And she still hasn't finished it. And she probably won't for some time, because of those pesky exams coming up that I should be studying for instead of writing.**

**But screw school, it's summer!**

**Anyway, I went on a semi-rant last time about how some of the words seemingly don't connect with the stories I write for them. Ashlee guessed what _Wheel _meant on her first go. I swear she has the same mind as me. For those of you who were wondering (which is probably none of you) _Wheel _was referring to the whole 'wheel of time' business, because it was a New Years Eve thingy. Yeah. I make no sense.**

**Enjoy!**

Xoxoxo

_Car_

God, it was cold.

Admittedly not as cold as England when they went to visit Ferb's family in the winter, but still, he was freezing his ass off out here. Despite being dressed in about five shirts, two hoodies and one very big puffy jacket along with a pair of warm pants, three sets of socks and one pair of woolen gloves, Phineas Flynn was shivering uncontrollably.

He was currently standing on one side of the car, letting it block most of the chilling wind and snow while rubbing his gloved hands together in an attempt to get feeling back into his fingers. He would have been totally okay with sitting in the car, but somehow the entire bloody machine was fucking up, and the windows were defective. They wouldn't wind up, and he'd be just as cold in there as he was out here.

Ferb was mucking around under the hood of the car, seemingly unaffected by the cold. Phineas didn't bother trying to help the other teen- mechanics wasn't his thing, especially cars. He was better off leaving that whole business alone. He just hoped his step-brother would be able to fix the damn car soon or he'd end up with hypothermia.

Blue eyes flickered around the landscape uneasily. They were stranded on the side of the road in the middle of no where, all because of Phineas' stupid idea to go on a road trip by themselves. He'd never anticipated that the car would break down completely. Why would he? Ferb was a genius with these kinds of things. But everyone gets it wrong sometimes, and that was just what had happened.

He'd never anticipated that neither of their cells would be able to get a signal. He'd never anticipated that no cars would go past. It had been over half an hour and they hadn't seen a single soul.

He stamped his left foot against the snow covered ground, trying to dispel the tingles slowly making their way up his leg. He'd always hated the cold. If given the choice between burning to death or freezing to death, he'd choose burning in a heartbeat. Each breath came out in a puff of mist, each inhalation stung his teeth and his lungs.

He didn't know how long he stood there, but by the time Ferb shut the hood and moved around to the driver's side to twist the key, Phineas had a cap of snow on top of his woolen beanie. The engine roared to life and the redhead cheered, pulling open the passenger door. "Thank God, lets get out of this wasteland."

"Hold on," Ferb retreated from sight for a few moments before returning, seemingly satisfied. "Alright, the windows should work now. Come on."

It was an immense relief when they climbed into the car, slammed the doors shut and wound up the windows. Out of the biting wind, Phineas felt much warmer. He rubbed his hands together, but he still had a hard time feelings his fingers. They were numb and felt like blocks of ice. Ferb was about to start driving when he glanced over and saw Phineas struggling to get the blood flow back into his digits. With a wry smile, the larger teen reached over and took the redhead's gloved hands in his own.

"Let me do that," he murmured. Phineas gulped as the other boy stripped the gloves off his hands and just held the pale skin in his own. After a moment, in which Phineas' heart was racing like mad, he leaned over and breathed scorching hot air over them, sending a jolt of arousal straight to the boy's groin. "Better?" Ferb asked, giving Phineas a smirk that made him shift to try and hide his growing erection.

"Y-Yeah, sure," he gulped again, had a hard time swallowing. Not now, not now, not now, he chanted to himself silently, willing away the annoying sexual thoughts and desires. He'd spent two years ignoring his sick attraction to his own brother, he wasn't about to let them get the best of him now. "Thanks."

"No problem," Ferb pulled away and began driving, leaving Phineas to clench his fingers and unclench them again, over and over, despite the fact the were quite warm already. He couldn't help remembering the feeling of that breath ghosting over his hands. It had been startlingly erotic. He was brought back to reality by Ferb saying casually, "you have a boner, by the way."

And oh boy, did that make his stomach drop. Panicking, he said the only thing that came to mind. "Yeah, uh... puberty sucks."

Ferb chuckled in response and Phineas melted against his seat, thinking he'd actually die of embarrassment.

Xoxoxo

_Milk_

"Where did you learn to do this?" Baljeet demanded. He was standing in his home economics class, watching Buford as he skillfully whipped up a batch of chocolate chip cookies without breaking a sweat.

"What, baking? You know, around," the bully answered vaguely, measuring sugar into a cup. Baljeet crossed his arms and tapped his foot against the ground.

"This is so unlike you," he mused, voice accusing. "Why did you even choose home economics this year? I would have thought you would think it is stupid."

"We get to make food and then eat it afterwards," Buford spared him a glance, his expression clearly indicating he thought his friend was crazy. "Why would I think eating is stupid? I love eating."

"I know that," Baljeet rolled his eyes. He just stood there, not really knowing what to do. Wasn't he supposed to be helping or something? They were partners on this project, after all.

"Pass me the flour, 'Jeet?"

"Alright," he picked up the bag of flour and handed it over. At least he was doing _something_. The bag was open at the top and Buford grabbed it rather hard. A great cloud of flour poofed from the top, right into Baljeet's face. He spluttered and wiped at his eyes. "Buford!"

"What? It wasn't my fault!" despite this, the bully was snickering into his hand.

"Ugh! You are so infuriating!" Baljeet snapped, stomping over to the sink to wash his face. Buford began to pour flour into the mixture he'd already made, never once stopping his snickering.

"Pre-heat the oven, would ya?" he asked, grinning. Baljeet let out a long suffering sigh and turned the oven on before returning to his previous position beside his bully and best friend.

Buford finished the mixture after a few minutes and he washed his hands before rolling bits of it into round balls. Baljeet mimicked his movements and about ten minutes later the cookies were all ready to be put in the oven. Buford slid them in and set the timer before turning back to Baljeet. "There. That wasn't so hard."

"Surprisingly," Baljeet muttered.

"You have flour on your nose," Buford commented, reaching out idly to brush it off with his thumb. Baljeet swallowed with difficulty and looked away.

"Thank you."

"Now, help me clean up the mess," the bully ordered. They put away the ingredients and wiped down the table they had been working on. By the time they were finished washing the dishes, the timer went off with a loud beeping noise. Buford pulled on an oven mitt and got the cookies, putting them onto the table to cool off.

"Mm, they look good," Baljeet sniffed the air. "They smell good, too."

They glanced over to the other stations in the room. Phineas and Isabella were working together on this one, much to Phineas' frustration and Isabella's delight. They were usually a good team, but for some reason they weren't working well together today. Maybe it was Ferb's absence. The green-haired teen had been sick all week. Phineas hadn't built any inventions in that time and he must have been going crazy. Isabella probably wasn't helping with her constant flirting and blatant uncaring that Ferb was sick.

"Looks like Dinner Bell and princess over there are arguing more than we did," Buford chuckled. He went over to one of the cupboards and pulled out two glasses and a small plate. "Come on, lets eat these babies."

"That sounds completely wrong out of context," Baljeet commented, but he picked up a few cookies and put them on the plate. Buford went over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of milk and poured it into the two glasses. "Buford! We cannot drink this! It is to be used as an ingredient!"

"Lighten up, 'Jeet," Buford rolled his eyes in response. "Who eats chocolate chip cookies without a glass of milk? Sheesh."

"Fine," the Indian teen muttered, grabbing a cookie and blowing on it. They were still a bit hot, but they had cooled enough to eat. He nibbled on it and smiled. "These are really good."

"Yup," Buford shoved a whole cookie in his mouth at once. Baljeet rolled his eyes and took a sip of his milk. Buford stared at him for a moment before reaching out again. "You have milk on your lip."

His thumb brushed over the top of Baljeet's lip, so gently he almost didn't feel it. He felt a lump in his throat as the boy moved away. "Thanks," he choked out. What on earth was wrong with him today?

Buford grinned in response.

Xoxoxo

_Women_

"Class, this is Ferb Fletcher," Mrs Cartwright introduced, gesturing to the boy beside her. "He's moved here from Chelsea, England. I hope you will all make him feel welcome. Phineas, would you be able to look after him and make sure he can find his way around fine?"

"Sure," Phineas smiled warmly at the new boy. Although his startlingly green hair was rather strange, and his expressionless face was kind of unsettling, Phineas Flynn was the type of person who was friends with everyone. He didn't care about the way the teen refused to make eye contact with anyone, or the way he slouched, burying his hands deep in his pockets. He was interesting. And Phineas loved interesting things.

"Would you like to say something about yourself?" Mrs Cartwright asked. It was no doubt the one thing every new kid dreaded their new teachers saying, and Ferb looked downright uncomfortable to start with.

"Not really."

"Oh my _gosh_!" a girl whispered loudly at the back of the class. "His accent is so hot!"

"Well," the teacher looked rather uncomfortable herself and gestured to the seat beside Phineas. "You can take your seat. Mr Flynn will be able to help you if you're confused about any of the subject material, although you _are _rather late and we only have ten minutes left in the lesson."

Ferb shuffled his way over to the desk and sat. He didn't look up at Phineas once, just slouched over on the desk and stared at the wood as if it held the answers to all of life's mysteries. When Mrs Cartwright turned to the board and began writing, the redhead leaned over and gave his brightest smile. "So, enjoying your first day at Danville High?"

"No," was the short and curt answer. Phineas was not deterred.

"What's Ferb short for?"

"It's-"

"Oh my god," the girl sitting behind Ferb spoke up, leaning forward and tapping the boy on his shoulder with her half-chewed pencil. "You have, like, the most interesting hair I've ever seen. Is it dyed?"

"No," this time his voice was rather sharp, causing the girl to frown and lean back in her seat. Phineas raised his eyebrows at the attitude Ferb was showing, but he could understand why. Sometimes girls could be a real pain in the ass, and the kid was probably wracked with nerves on his first day at a new school.

"Women, huh?" he joked softly, so the girl wouldn't hear him, and was rewarded with the other boy finally looking up at him. His breath caught when he saw that Ferb possessed a pair of intense jade green eyes, and they seemed to stare straight through him. He felt like his entire being was laid out before this boy and-

Okay, not really. That was the cheesy narrator in his head playing up again. But in all seriousness, Phineas thought his eyes were kind of pretty. The were, however, slightly red and a little bloodshot, as if he'd been crying only a little while ago.

"Women," Ferb agreed, although there was no humor in his tone. His voice was low and raspy, only adding to Phineas' theory that he'd been crying.

"What brings you to the Tri-State Area?" he asked curiously, making sure to whisper so Mrs Cartwright wouldn't hear his words. She would be able to hear his voice in general, but he knew she'd just assume he was explaining something to Ferb and allow it. He just had to keep her from hearing the actual words.

There was a beat in which Ferb's face went from expressionless to anguish, but the mask was pulled up again in an instant, leaving Phineas wondering if he'd actually seen it or if he was going mad. The green-haired teen looked back down at his desk quickly. Phineas blinked and leaned even closer, managing to catch the boy's quiet voice. "My mother died. Dad and I needed a fresh start."

"I would say I'm sorry, but that's a rather overused cliche and doesn't help at all, does it?" the redhead said softly, and the mask dropped again, but this time Ferb's expression was shock. It caused a bitter smile to appear, and Phineas let out a low sigh. He felt sympathy for this boy, and his heart ached for him. He could understand how much anguish he must be going through. "My father died a couple of years ago, so I get it. Mum seriously considered moving but my older sister Candace refused."

Ferb opened his mouth to respond but the bell rang, cutting off whatever he'd been about to say. Phineas had already finished his work before the new kid showed up, so all his books and pens were already in his bag. He stood up, the rest of the class following suit, all pushing in their chairs and putting their bags on whilst chatting away to each other.

"Yes, alright, remember homework on page forty four!" Mrs Cartwright called as the students began to file out of the classroom.

Ferb slung his bag over one shoulder as he stood. Phineas made a point of waiting for him and they walked to the door together, stepping into the crowded hall. "What do you have next?" the redhead asked.

The taller teen shoved his schedule into the other's hands in reply, and Phineas' eyes lit up when he read it. "Oh, you have biology with Buford, Baljeet and I. Come on, I'll show you where it is."

As they started towards the west end of the school, Phineas glanced over at his companion, noting how stiff and uncomfortable the boy seemed. He knew he'd have to work hard to get this guy to relax and open up, but he was certain he could do it. "So, Ferb," he said casually. "How long have you been in Danville?"

"Nearly a week," was the quiet reply. "Dad and I moved into our new house on Tuesday."

"Cool," Phineas commented. They stopped outside a brightly coloured door and Phineas waved his arm at it dramatically, adopting a formal tone. "May I present to you our biology classroom?"

This caused the slightest twitching of Ferb's lips, and Phineas considered that a great personal victory. With a smile, he held out his hand. "I suppose I should properly introduce myself, even though you already know my name. I'm Phineas Flynn, future

inventor, if things go my way."

"Ferb Fletcher," the other boy supplied, shaking Phineas' hand. His grip was firm, his hand slightly calloused. "Future mechanic, I suppose."

"Well, Ferb," the redhead grinned. "It's a pleasure to meet you, and welcome to Danville High."

Ferb finally smiled in response.

Xoxoxo

_Signs_

"Right, so..." Baljeet glanced down at the sheet of paper in his hand, reading out loud. "Go to the place where the penguins are hiding," he paused and stared at the paper, as if his scrutiny would make it give up it's secrets. "What does that even mean? We have no penguins here."

"It means to go outside of the art block," Buford answered him lazily, hands in pockets. He was leaning against the building they were standing outside, looking around without much interest. It infuriated Baljeet. They'd been forced to do this treasure hunt because their teachers apparently thought the class were still five years old, and whilst Baljeet had been okay with it, Buford had argued for ages before finally giving up and agreeing. And now it was Buford who was figuring out all the clues, when it should have been Baljeet. Wasn't he supposed to be the smart one?

"What do you mean, outside of the art block?" Baljeet clenched his teeth. He was getting frustrated with himself. Why couldn't he just work out some stupid clues already?

"It has that huge mural, remember?" Buford shrugged, seeming not to notice Baljeet's mood. "And in one corner there's a bunch of penguins hiding behind a rock."

"Oh yeah," Baljeet shook his head at himself. "How did I not remember that? Right, let us go."

"Whatever you say, nerd."

Despite the fact Baljeet wasn't performing his best, they were still way ahead of the rest of the class, and they were the first to arrive at the art block. The mural was on the west side, and underneath it was a bunch of envelopes, taped to the wall so they wouldn't fly off. Baljeet ripped off the envelope that had _B&B _printed on the front and shoved it into his pocket. "Looks like you were right."

"Hey Buford, Baljeet!" they heard a voice greet, and turned to see Phineas hurrying over towards them with the new kid, Ferb, in tow. "Oh, good, the clue did mean the mural."

He tore off the envelope marked _P&F_ as Buford and Baljeet muttered their hello's. They were good friends with Phineas but the new kid was kind of intimidating and he didn't talk much. Well, he was intimidating for Baljeet, anyway. Buford was probably unaffected, but Buford was unfriendly in general so neither of them were too keen on talking to this new kid.

"Turns out Ferb is a genius at figuring out clues," Phineas said brightly as he handed handed his envelope to the green-haired teen, who took it silently. "How are you guys going?"

"Well, 'Jeet's pretty useless at the moment," Buford started.

"Hey!" Baljeet complained hotly.

"But these clues are really easy," the bully continued. "Anyway, what's the next one?"

He glanced over at Baljeet as he said it, and the smaller teen let out a huff of air before lifting the sheet of paper and reading aloud, "Where each performer receives a fresh coat of paint," he thought about it for a second. "Well, paint might indicate the art room..."

"Does this school have a drama department?" Ferb asked suddenly, and all three teens looked at him in surprise.

"Yes, we do," Phineas answered after a moment. "We're pretty big on drama, actually."

"Might mean the make-up station, then," Ferb shrugged.

"We'll take a look," Phineas smiled brightly at him. "Are you two coming?"

"We'll catch up," Buford told him. The redhead nodded and started off, Ferb walking beside him. The two seemed to talk easily, despite having only met that day.

"How is it I can not think of the right answer for these?" Baljeet whined softly as they set off at a slower pace, allowing the pair in front of them to disappear behind a building. "I am supposed to be smart."

"There's a difference between being smart and being creative, 'Jeet," Buford said easily. "You're into math and all that shit. Math is numbers and straight-forward. These clues make you think outside the box."

"Are you saying I am not creative?" Baljeet bristled. They rounded the corner and Buford glanced around, making sure they were alone and that no one could see them.

"Maybe I am," the bully grinned and pulled Baljeet into an open doorway, pressing him up against the door frame. "What're you going to do about it?"

"Buford!" the Indian teen hissed, trying unsuccessfully to push him away. "Someone might see us!"

"Relax, 'Jeet, we're all alone..." he leaned forward, attempting to kiss the other, but Baljeet turned his face to the side defiantly.

"We did not go through all that trouble to keep us a secret just to throw it away by being caught canoodling in the middle of school!" he said, voice strained.

"Oh come on, there's no one around," Buford complained, but he pulled away quickly when they heard someone clear their throat. They turned to see Phineas and Ferb staring at them.

"Uhm..." Phineas started, cheeks flushed red. He had a smear of black running down from his left eyebrow to his jaw. He didn't seem to be able to say anything else, his mouth hanging open silently.

"We need to get past," Ferb said, once a few beats had gone past without anyone speaking. "Phineas got eyeliner all over himself and he wants to wash it off."

"A-Alright," Baljeet stuttered a little, moving out of the doorway to let the two teens past. Phineas was walking slowly, eyes still wide. He seemed to be in shock, and Ferb gripped his jacket to pull him along faster. They soon disappeared around a corner inside of the building and Baljeet let out a tiny breath of air before turning a glare onto his companion. "I told you we would get caught!"

"Relax," Buford rolled his eyes. "It was only Dinner Bell and Bean Pole."

"You already came up with a nickname for him?" Baljeet asked in a flat voice. Buford grinned and shrugged, causing the Indian to sigh. "Whatever. Come on, let us get this thing over and done with."

They hurried over to the drama department, which was quite close to the art rooms, so it only took about a minute. The room that held the make up stations also held a stack of envelopes and Baljeet sighed as he picked their one up. "Ferb was right."

"Come on," Buford nudged the boy lightly. "Why don't you figure out the next one all by yourself? You can do it."

Smiling in spite of himself, Baljeet glanced at the sheet of clues and read aloud for Buford's benefit, "the stench of sweat in this room would make any skin crawl, except for the team who uses it," he paused and then let out a frustrated growl. "Oh come on! How am I supposed to know what that means?"

Buford grinned, crossing his arms. "It has something to do with me," he hinted, looking quite amused at Baljeet's anger.

"Oh look, even you know what it means," the Indian groaned. He stared at the words on the paper, furrowing his brow. Something to do with Buford, a team, and a smelly sweaty room... "Oh! The football team locker rooms!"

"Bingo," Buford snickered.

Feeling quite proud of himself for figuring it out, he smiled widely and grabbed his companion's wrist, pulling him towards the gym, which was on the other side of the school. He dropped his hand once they started to pass other people in their class, some of them heading towards the room they'd just been in, some of them heading towards the mural. Others looked completely lost. They passed Phineas and Ferb at one point, but the two didn't see them. Phineas was chattering away, sweeping his arms as he talked, looking quite excited about something. Ferb had an amused smile on his face. It was the first time Baljeet had seen the boy smile.

Inside the locker room, the stench made Baljeet choke and pinch his nose shut. "How on earth do you handle coming in here? Do you even shower?"

"It's not _that _bad," Buford snorted, pulling off an envelope from the wall and handing it to the smaller boy. "Next clue?"

"You are starting to enjoy this," Baljeet accused, wearing a grin.

"Well, it beats sitting in a dark room watching lame movies about Biology," the heftier teen shrugged. Baljeet had to agree with him.

"Okay, this is the last clue. It is: Sometimes death, sometimes living, hell, maybe I am just kidding," the boy stared at the paper for a moment. "I give up. You got any ideas?"

"Figures they'd sneak in a clue about biology," Buford rolled his eyes. "Makes sense that it's the last one. Come on, lets head back to class."

"How do you always know what it means?" Baljeet complained as they headed back to the biology classroom.

"Maybe I'm not as dumb as you think I am," the footballer shrugged.

"I do not think you are dumb," Baljeet said quietly.

The larger teen glanced over at him, a rare genuine smile tugging at his lips. "Thanks, 'Jeet."

Once inside the biology classroom, their teacher smiled at them and handed them their final envelope. They were the first ones to get back and they headed over to their table to open the envelopes they had collected. There were twelve in all and each envelope held a small bit of paper with a word on it. To complete the treasure hunt they had to arrange the words into a sentence, which would have something to do with biology, and tell their teacher the sentence.

"Alright, the words are..." Baljeet pulled them all out and looked them over. "Is, process, forms, which, new, evolution, arise, the, in, species, from, previous."

"It'll have something to do with evolution," Buford pointed out.

"Right," Baljeet stared at the words for a while. He got the feeling Buford already knew the answer but was holding back, knowing that Baljeet wanted to figure it out on his own. After a few minutes the answer clicked in his head and he started rearranging the words. "Evolution is the process in which new species arise from previous forms."

He grinned in triumph. Because they were the only pair in the room, the teacher had been watching them the whole time and she smiled. "Well done, boys. You can have free time until the end of the period."

"Sweet," Buford leaned back in his chair and stretched. Baljeet began putting the words back in their envelopes and handed them to the teacher. He had just pulled out his biology book to do some studying when Phineas and Ferb entered, the former smiling widely and the latter expressionless.

"Thanks, miss!" Phineas said when the teacher gave them their final envelope. He walked over to Buford and Baljeet and sat down opposite them. This was their normal table, and they'd always had a spare seat. It was only until today that it had been filled up by Ferb. Baljeet was a little uncomfortable around the new boy, especially now that he'd seen the Indian teen and Buford mucking around.

Phineas looked a little awkward when he sat down. The teacher warned Buford and Baljeet not to help them just as Ferb joined them. She was hovering close to them, and Phineas lowered his voice when he began to speak, "so, uhm, Ferb and I agreed never to mention what we, ah, saw. You know, before."

"Thank you," Baljeet said quietly.

"But you're going to have to tell me everything during break," Phineas smiled. Ferb silently began to open the envelopes and he and Phineas glanced down at the words in front of them.

It seemed only seconds had passed before they'd arranged the words in the correct order and Baljeet let out a loud groan. "That took me ages! Why is everyone smarter than me today?"

"Calm down, 'Jeet," Buford snickered.

"Everyone has their off days," Ferb said softly. Baljeet glanced up at him. The green-haired teen looked a little uncomfortable with everyone looking at him, but he attempted to give the Indian a friendly smile. "You'll do better next time."

"Uhm, thanks," Baljeet blinked. His opinion of the other boy went up significantly.

"So, Bean Pole, where ya from?" Buford asked casually.

Ferb raised an eyebrow and Baljeet slapped a palm to his forehead. Buford being rude? Some things never changed.

Xoxoxo

_Vacuum_

"What the hell have you done to your face?" Heinz asked with a sigh as soon as Perry walked into the room. The teal-haired man looked a little offended, but it was hard to tell under the layer of white powder on his face.

"I was baking."

"And that involves getting flour all over your face... how?" Heinz shook his head. Perry touched a hand to his cheek and seemed surprised when it came back covered in white. He began to wipe at his face in earnest and little clumps of white powder fell onto the carpet in the living room. "Stop it! You're getting it everywhere!"

Rolling his eyes, Heinz reached forward and took Perry's hand, leading him into the bathroom. He wet a cloth and wiped at the agent's face with it gently. "Why did you try baking without me? You could have burnt the building down. You know you're still not fully accustomed to your new body yet."

Perry let out a huff of air, avoiding looking at Heinz's face. "I wanted to surprise you."

The scientist found himself smiling and he leaned down to kiss the other man gently. "You surprised me when you walked into the living room looking like that."

"That's not what I meant," Perry protested. Heinz chuckled.

"I know," he put down the cloth and gestured towards the door. "Come on, I have to go clean up the living room now. And the kitchen," he paused and shook his head. "I don't even want to know what kind of mess you made in there."

He went over to a door positioned discreetly in the corner of his living room and pulled it open. Inside was a tiny room filled with cleaning supplies. He pulled out the vacuum cleaner and plugged it in. Perry watched him from the couch as he turned it on. The teal-haired man flinched and put his hands over his ears at the noise, screwing up his face. "What _is _that?"

"A vacuum," Heinz supplied, moving it closer to where the mess was. Perry scrambled away from it and towards the kitchen, looking like a frightened animal. Which he was, really. "Calm down, it's not going to hurt you."

"Why is it so loud!" Perry shouted over the noise.

Heinz moved it a bit closer and chuckled, finding evil pleasure in the way the other man took a few steps back. "There's nothing wrong with a bit of noise!"

"Okay, you cleaned the mess, now turn it off!" Perry seemed to be panicking, chest moving up and down erratically. Heinz switched it off obligingly and set it down.

"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad," he walked over to him and touched the soft skin of his cheek gently. Perry's eyes were still wide with fright and Heinz started to feel bad. "Alright, I'm sorry. I won't vacuum with you here again."

Perry nodded mutely and Heinz sighed, pulling him into a hug. The former platypus relaxed into his embrace and the taller man leaned down to steal a kiss. "You're cute when you're scared, you-"

He cut himself off, staring over Perry's shoulder. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY KITCHEN?!"

The agent found himself laughing, fear forgotten as Heinz rushed into the kitchen.

"That's payback for the vacuum!"

Xoxoxo

**In case you didn't guess, _Signs _was a continuation of _Women_, except in Baljeet's point of view. I quite liked _Signs_. Poor Baljeet wasn't able to figure out anything without Buford's help! Tried my hand at an AU. How'd it turn out?**

**Hope you guys enjoyed!**

**Review? Reviewers get chocolate chip cookies! CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES!**

**Oh hey, alliteration. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Welcome back guys. I have absolutely no freaking idea what happened to Buford's talking in **_**Church**_**. It's so screwed up. Oh well. **

**I was waiting until the last one to use _Love _but whatever. Enjoy?**

**_Food _is an AU, by the way. Just because they're so out of character its not even funny.**

Xoxoxo

_Love_

It had become somewhat of a tradition over the years. A dorky tradition, one that Buford never let them live down, but Phineas enjoyed it all the same. The first time he and Ferb had met, pushed together by dating parents, Ferb had shyly presented him with a thornless yellow rose. It was very obvious his father had made him do it, and that the green-haired child had not wanted to, but Phineas had smiled and accepted it all the same. The next time his mother told him they were going to see the Fletcher's again, he picked a white rose from the garden and gave it to Ferb. He'd always remember the look of pleased surprise on the other boy's face before it was hidden behind that expressionless mask.

Eventually they found a rhythm. Ferb would give Phineas a rose at some point in January. Phineas would do the same in February. Ferb would give another in March, and so on and so forth. On special occasions such as Valentines Day or Christmas, they would both get roses. It was always the same. Phineas always received a yellow rose and he always gave Ferb a white one.

It was when they were both fourteen that Isabella sat Phineas down and told him what the colours symbolized. "It's fitting, really, that you give him white roses, because they mean innocence and purity," she smiled widely and patted his hand. "And there's no one as oblivious and innocent as you."

"Hey!" he protested weakly.

"And yellow..." she shook her head and laughed. "Even more fitting. Yellow means a new beginning, and also friendship. It's sweet, really."

"And what about other colours?" he asked curiously, turning to glance out the window behind them. Outside was his mother's rose garden, and he scanned them over. "As cute as the whole colours thing is, it's getting old, right? Maybe I should shake things up a bit. What does peach mean?"

"Appreciation-" Isabella started, but Phineas cut her off.

"Oh, appreciation? I totally appreciate Ferb," he grinned. "Peach it is. It's my turn this month, I might give it to him tomorrow..."

"It can also mean 'let's get together'..." Isabella finished weakly.

"Get together for what?" he blinked at her. She smacked her forehead with her palm and rolled her eyes.

"Nothing, you dork," shaking her head with a sigh, she continued, "but we'll just leave the peach for now. Any other colours you had in mind?"

"What about the red ones?" he smiled at her.

"Those mean love," a sly grin appeared. "Do you love Ferb?"

"Of course I do!" he rolled his eyes at such a stupid question, standing up. "Should we go pick them, now?"

"Romantic love," Isabella clarified, still grinning. "It means romantic love."

"...Oh," a blush spread swiftly over his cheeks and he sat back down quickly. "You know what? I think I'll just keep giving him white. It's easier."

Isabella had laughed as he hurried into the garden, looking flustered as he picked the nearest white rose and stubbornly ignoring the red ones.

It wasn't until he was sixteen that he finally gave in and admitted his feelings to both himself and Isabella. "You were right, Isa," he sighed, leaning against the headboard of his bed, twirling a fresh yellow rose in his fingers. Ferb had given it to him earlier that day. "I do like him. In a way that's not strictly brotherly."

"Well, you know what to do, right?" the girl grinned, looking up from where she had been painting her nails a bright pink. "Give him a rose that symbolizes your feelings. You've had this tradition for over ten years, it'll shock the hell out of him if you suddenly give him a rose that's not white. But you totally have to tell me what happens."

"Alright," he agreed, running a finger over the delicate yellow petals. "I can't believe you're so accepting of this. I mean, we're practically brothers."

"Practically is the key word, sweetie," she laughed, leaning over to paint a streak of pink on his leg.

A month later and he was standing in the garden, staring at the selection of roses and wondering which one would be best. He immediately ignored the yellow and white ones. They were overdone and didn't explain how he felt at all. He remembered Isabella's latest lecture on what the colours meant and he reached out to pluck a pink one but he hesitated. He wasn't really sure of how he felt about Ferb. He knew he was attracted to him, yes, but past that he didn't know. Romantic feelings had never been his strong point.

His fingers closed around an orange rose and snapped it off. He went inside and got out a little knife and carefully cut all the thorns off. The last thing he wanted was to accidentally stab Ferb. Orange symbolized desire or fascination. He certainly had a fascination with Ferb lately, and he definitely desired him.

Knowing Ferb was up in their shared bedroom, he climbed the stairs two at a time, feeling his heart beat speed up. How would his brother react? He wasn't sure. He just hoped he wouldn't be interrogated. He might be able to pass off the change in colour saying that he got bored and orange was his favourite, but Ferb had an uncanny ability to recognize lies. It was incredibly frustrating sometimes.

"Hey, Ferb," he chirped when he opened the door. His brother was lying on his bed reading a book, and he sat up when Phineas came closer, holding the rose behind his back.

"Phin," he nodded. Always a man of little words.

"It's that time of the month again," Phineas chuckled, throwing a wink in there for good measure. He pulled out the rose with a flourish and held it out, smiling brightly even though he knew his face must have been bright red. "Here's your rose, Ferb."

"It's orange," Ferb commented as he took it, studying it. It wasn't really a question, just a statement, but Phineas answered anyway.

"Yup, sure is," he attempted another smile but it came out weak. He was glad Ferb wasn't looking at him.

"Thank you," Ferb stood, his long legs meaning he now stood a good head higher than Phineas, and he reached out to give his brother a brief hug. "I'm going to go get a vase."

The redhead was left standing dumbly in the middle of his room, staring at where Ferb had been. That was the first time Ferb had hugged him after receiving a rose. Usually it was just a pat on the shoulder or something. He got out his phone with trembling fingers and fired off a quick text to Isabella.

_I gave Ferb an orange rose. He was a bit surprised but didn't question it. Then he hugged me._

The reply came through in seconds, shocking him when his phone vibrated against his palm.

_Congratulations! I hope he decided to give you a different coloured rose next month. I wonder if he knows what the colours mean. _

Phineas smiled and shook his head. He doubted it. Ferb was a mechanic. What business would he have with flowers?

Other than giving his step-brother one every second month.

Another month passed and it was January. Phineas couldn't help but get excited, wondering if Ferb would give him a different coloured rose, but when the day came and Ferb presented him with the flower, Phineas' heart sank. Yellow.

"Thanks," he said, forcing a bright smile as he took the rose. "I'll go put it in water."

He texted Isabella and she showed up five minutes later, joining him in the kitchen where he was filling a small vase with water. She gave him a hug, seeing his disappointed look. "It's okay, Phineas, I mean, we had to expect it really."

"Yeah, but..." he sighed and held up the rose. "I really thought he'd try something different."

"He did," Isabella said, her eyes lighting up when she saw the rose and she grabbed it off him. "Look! It has red tips!"

"...So?" Phineas snatched it back, feeling oddly possessive over it.

"Yellow with red tips means friendship, yes," she giggled and covered her mouth. "But it also means falling in love."

She laughed at the bright blush that appeared on his face and he stared closely at the flower. "Are you sure?"

"Positive!"

"...Maybe it was a mistake," he frowned slightly. "Maybe he didn't notice the red tips. Maybe he doesn't know what it means."

"Oh don't be such a Negative Nancy," Isabella scowled, slapping his arm gently. "Next month is Valentines Day, so you'll both be giving roses. What colour are you going to go with?"

"I don't know," he leaned against the counter after he'd put the rose in the vase, staring at the red tips and wondering if those were there on purpose.

"Well, do you love him?"

"I don't know," he repeated, starting to feel like he was under interrogation or something. "I mean, I love him as a friend, and I like him as more than that, but I don't know if I love him as more than that. You know?"

"Oh for God's sake," Isabella rolled her eyes. "Get him dark red or something."

"I just said I wasn't sure!" Phineas exclaimed.

"Red means love, dark red means unconscious beauty," Isabella punched his arm. "I'm not deaf, I heard what you said."

"Oh," he rubbed his arm, thought it over in his mind. "Well, he does have absolutely no idea how attractive he is."

"Then it's decided," she smiled.

Valentines Day came swiftly, almost sneaking up on Phineas. He'd nearly forgotten about his plan for the roses, but Isabella reminded him the morning of the fateful day. He knew there was a rose garden at school and the gardener liked Isabella so he didn't bother grabbing one before school. Ferb seemed to have the same idea because no rose was forthcoming as they got ready and hopped into the green-haired teen's car.

Around second period Ferb left class to go to the bathroom. Seizing his chance, he texted Isabella, who had her free period. Sure enough, two minutes later she rushed into the room and handed him the dark red rose she had picked out from the school garden, obviously only moments ago. "Good luck!"

"Miss Garcia-Shapiro," the teacher asked with a smile. "What on earth are you doing?"

"Just providing Phineas with the rose he needed," the girl answered brightly. Everyone, even their classmates and teachers, knew about Phineas and Ferb's tradition, so it was no big surprise to them. The teacher just smiled and shook her head in mock exasperation. Isabella hurried out after wishing Phineas good luck one last time.

"Red?" Buford leaned over to look at the rose in the boy's hand more closely. "Usually it's white. What's up, Dinner Bell?"

"Nothing," he lied, gritting his teeth.

The door opened and Ferb re-entered. Phineas rested the rose on his lap so Ferb wouldn't see it and smiled innocently, despite the fact the whole class was staring and giggling. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out what was going on, and Ferb was definitely a genius. Fortunately, though, it seemed he had the same idea. He produced a rose from behind his back, allowing a small grin to light up his features. "Happy Valentines Day, Phin."

The rose was lavender. Phineas felt his breath catch. Lavender meant love at first sight. He felt his cheeks burn but tried to push down the joyful feeling he was experiencing. Ferb probably didn't even know what it meant.

He took the rose and placed it on the desk before pulling out his own and smiling. "Happy Valentines Day, Ferb."

"Dark red," Ferb commented as he took it. The whole class was watching them with varying degrees of subtlety, and some girls were giggling quietly. "Unconscious beauty."

"Y-You know what they mean?" Phineas stuttered, eyes wide. Oh dear God, he knew what they meant.

"Of course I do," Ferb rolled his eyes. "Isabella took it upon herself to teach me. Why else would I give you a lavender rose?"

Phineas blushed hard, sure his whole face was red. He was glad that their words were quiet so not many people could hear them, especially over the giggling and whispers. Goddammit, Isabella, he thought. She'd known this whole time.

Ferb chuckled at his blush and leaned closer to whisper in his ear. "Next month is my turn. I was thinking of going for a red one. What do you think?"

Phineas was too stunned to answer, and even when the teacher called for order with an amused grin and resumed teaching, he still stared blankly into space, not noticing Ferb and Buford's snickers and Baljeet's hand waving in front of his face.

Red. I love you.

Xoxoxo

_Church _

"Alright, I'll bite," Buford said, grinning at the forlorn teen sitting beside him. "What's got ya so upset?"

They were at the beach, sitting on the cooling sand and watching the waves. Both of them had changed back into their clothes a little while ago- it was almost evening and they were practically alone. Night was approaching and with it was a cold nip in the air. Neither boys minded much, they both had thick clothes to keep them warm.

Baljeet, hair still damp from their earlier swimming, turned his head in order to look up at Buford. His dark brown eyes were troubled, making the bully's grin slowly fade when he realized the seriousness of the situation. "It is my parents," his nerd said after a moment. He turned back to watch the waves, avoiding eye contact. "I told them I am gay."

"Shit, 'Jeet," Buford frowned, the revelation shocking him. "We're supposed t' be best friends here. Why didn't ya tell me you were gonna tell 'em?"

"I did not know I was going to either," Baljeet's hands were burying themselves in the sand, periodically bringing up a fistful just to watch it slowly drain away, back onto the ground. "Not until about five seconds before I blurted it out during dinner."

"Not always the best move," Buford commented unhelpfully. "I'm guessin' they didn't take it well, huh?"

"Actually, they did," Baljeet finally looked back up at him, and he looked completely lost and confused. "They told me they are fine with it! They accepted me! I do not understand! Our religion states that homosexuality is wrong, and yet they do not condemn me. I am so confused."

"Ever heard of the phrase 'don't look a gift horse in the mouth'?" the bully snorted. When his companion didn't react, he sighed and shook his head. "Listen, 'Jeet, they accepted you 'cause they love you. They value you and your happiness over some stupid law in your religion made thousands of years ago."

"How do you even know all this?" Baljeet sighed.

"Because my ma was the same way," Buford shrugged. "She was brought up ta be hardcore Christian or somethin'. But when I told her I'm bi, she was totally okay with it. She told me that ya can't be sure of religion bein' real but she could be sure of the fact that she loves me, ya know? She-"

"Wait a minute," Baljeet cut him off. His eyes had widened at the start of Buford's little speech, and they had stayed wide, coupled with an open mouth and a furrowed brow. "You are bisexual?!"

Buford blinked in surprise, completely forgetting what he'd previously been about to say. His hands, which had been raised and moving about as he'd been talking, just stayed raised, frozen. "...Yeah?"

"Why did you not tell me?" Baljeet moaned, hiding his face in his hands. "When I mentioned to you that I am gay, would that not have been a good time? I would have appreciated some advice, seeing as you know a little of what I am going through!"

"I thought ya knew!" Buford shook his head in complete bewilderment. "Adyson said that ya knew and that was why you'd been avoidin' me last summer."

"I did not know!" Baljeet denied. "And I was not avoiding you. Everytime you asked to hang out, I was swamped with homework and chores, or I had to babysit my sister."

"I thought those were jus' excuses," Buford rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, before his face morphed into a frown. "Man, I am gonna _kill _Adyson!"

There was silence as each boy absorbed the new information that had been presented to them. Buford was lost in thought, trying to decide what would be a fitting death for Adyson, when Baljeet spoke again. "How did you... you know... realize you were bisexual?"

"I've always known, I guess," Buford began to doodle little patterns in the sand. "I just knew that I like boys as much as I like girls, ya know?"

Baljeet went quiet so Buford added a soft, "and you? How did you know?"

Almost immediately a blush spread over the smaller teen's cheeks, and he ducked his head in embarrassment. "W-Well, do you remember the one time we did hang out last summer? At Isabella's party, right on the first day of vacation?"

"Sure," Buford nodded. He remembered the party well. Everyone did. It was when Phineas had finally grown some balls and rejected Isabella. It had completely ruined the party, but it was at the end of the night so it didn't matter too much. Buford had been able to get up and leave by the time it had happened and Isabella had burst into tears and run into her room. It sounded kind of shitty, but he was a guy. And he didn't do well with crying women. Besides, she'd had her Fireside Girls troop to comfort her.

"Well..." Baljeet's voice trembled on that one word. He took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. "I realized that I was attracted to men when we were dared to... you know... kiss."

"I knew ya liked that kiss," Buford chuckled, the news not fazing him at all. Really, he'd figured it out as soon as Baljeet had mentioned the party. The other boy's blush deepened, so the bully leaned towards him and jabbed his side playfully. "So, what, ya had a crush on me?"

"I do not think that would be the right way to put it," the Indian boy said slowly, refusing to look up. "If you changed the tense to something else..."

"I may be puttin' more effort into school an' all that shit, but I have no idea what you're sayin', 'Jeet."

"Change had to have," Baljeet snapped, obviously embarrassed. At long last, Buford realized what he meant and a smirk slowly appeared on his lips.

"_Oh_, so ya still do?" he let out a chuckle. "I already said this before, we're supposed ta be best friends, ya need ta tell me stuff more."

Baljeet let out an embarrassed groan and buried his head in his hands again, only causing Buford to laugh harder.

"Oh come on, it can't be that bad," he teased. "How come ya never made a move?"

"Because I did not know if you felt the same!" came the muffled reply. "For all I knew, you were straight!"

"...I am _seriously _going to kill Adyson," Buford cracked his knuckles and the noise caused Baljeet to peek up at him from behind his fingers. "I ain't never gonna listen to that bitch again. She told me ya knew I like ya!"

Baljeet dropped his hands into his lap, looking at Buford curiously. His cheeks were still flushed and he still looked embarrassed, but the slightest smile was playing at his lips. "You like me...?"

Buford rolled his eyes. Now that he knew the brat liked him back, there was no need for subtlety. He grabbed the front of the boy's shirt and hauled him up to eye level, much like he would have done when they were younger and Buford still bullied him. He only allowed one gasp to slip from Baljeet's lips before he was kissing him, pouring all of the emotion he could into it. By the time they parted, the blush had spread to Buford's cheeks and they looked away awkwardly.

"...I will take that as a yes."

Xoxoxo

_Food_

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO!"

Sixteen-year-old Ferb Fletcher winced at the screams of his younger brother as he yanked on his shirt. He didn't bother to suppress a groan, knowing that today would be the worst day yet. His step-brother, Phineas, had lost all will to eat anything ever since he'd turned fourteen. They'd been to several doctors and psychiatrists but no matter what advice they gave, each day was a struggle to get even a morsel of food to pass Phineas' lips. Last month, for about a week, the boy had eaten without any complaint, and Ferb had begun to hope things were getting better. But sure enough when that week ended, the screaming resumed.

Phineas was usually a mature, witty, confident boy. But when it came to food, he acted like a spoilt three-year-old who didn't want to eat his vegetables. Unfortunately for Ferb, it came down to him to make sure his little brother was eating.

"Ferb," his step-mother, Linda, knocked on his bedroom door. She sounded tired and defeated. He hurriedly pulled on his jeans and patted down his hair before opening the door. "He won't even leave his room. Could you...?"

"Sure, Mum," he brushed past her, heading towards the sounds of his father, Lawerence, pleading and Phineas screeching. He reached his brother's bedroom, and upon entering saw his father standing at the foot of Phineas' bed. The boy in question was curled up in a ball, hands over his ears, eyes screwed shut, chanting loudly,

"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!"

"Phineas, please!" Lawerence begged. "You're already twenty pounds underweight!"

"Dad," Ferb put a hand on his father's shoulder. The man slumped and sighed, shaking his head. He nodded at Ferb before leaving. The green-haired teen walked over to his brother and poked him hard in the side. It was enough to stop the chanting and get his attention. "Oi, you're eating breakfast today, you got it?"

"NO!" bright blue eyes, watery with tears, stared back at him defiantly, crossing his arms. Ferb's chest constricted. He looked so frail and delicate, as if he would shatter at any moment. The older teen didn't understand why his brother couldn't eat. It was frustratingly worrying.

"You don't have a choice," he forced himself to sound stern as he reached out and scooped his brother up, holding him bridal style. The boy began to yell and pound at his chest but it barely even made him wince. All it succeeded in doing was worry him even more because each hit was hardly even noticeable.

"Ferb! No! Ferb! I don't want to! Put me down!" the tears were in full force now, streaming down porcelain cheeks as Ferb resolutely marched them down the stairs and into the kitchen. He sat himself down at the kitchen table, pulling his brother into his lap and wrapping an arm around his waist to hold him there. He used that same arm to pin Phineas' hands too, so the younger teen couldn't move away, or try to hit him.

"FERB!" he was struggling, but to someone as tall and strong as Ferb, there was no competition. The boy let out a broken sob that tugged at his heart. "Please!"

"You are eating and that is final," he felt horrible, using that growling sort of voice at his brother, especially when the redhead was sobbing, but he made himself stay resolute. "Dad, can you get out the cereal?"

Their father, who had followed them into the kitchen silently, obeyed. He pulled out the box, a bowl, a spoon and a carton of milk. He poured the cereal and milk into the bowl and set that and the spoon in front of Ferb on the table. Phineas struggled even more at the sight of it.

"Thanks, Dad," the green-haired teen nodded at his father, who looked dead tired. The man left the two alone. Both parents didn't know how Ferb managed to force the redhead to eat, and neither of them wanted to know. The screams and tearful pleading were too distressing for them to stick around. As long as Phineas was fed at the end of the day, they were happy.

With his free hand, Ferb picked up the spoon and dipped it into the bowl, pulling it out with a small amount of milky cereal on it. He held it to his brother's lips, who had closed them defiantly and tried to press himself back into Ferb's chest and away from the spoon. "Goddammit, Phin, please eat. I don't want to have to force feed you."

The boy shook his head and squirmed. Ferb pushed the spoon closer and Phineas leaned forward and knocked it with his nose, causing it to drop and land on their laps. "Fucks sake," Ferb growled, feeling the milk seep into his jeans. Still, he couldn't stop now to get changed. He picked the spoon back up, wiped it on his shirt and scooped up another small amount of cereal.

"No! Ferb-!" Phineas cut his own cry off when the spoon came too near to his lips. Knowing Ferb would shove the spoon into his mouth if he kept it open, he shut it quickly, turning his head to glare up at his brother, tears still tracking their way down his face.

"That's it."

Ferb placed the spoon in his own mouth, pulling it out clean but not chewing or swallowing. He let the cereal sit on his tongue as he put the spoon down before gripping his brother's jaw harshly. Phineas struggled, trying to pull his head away. "Ferb-"

Ignoring him, the older teen pushed their mouths together just as he used his grip on the boy's jaw to pry his brother's lips apart. Using his tongue, he forced the cereal into the other's mouth and then pulled away, slamming those lips shut and placing his hand over them, glaring into those pleading blue eyes. "Chew. Now."

He knew it was cruel, using the boy's feelings against him, but the only way Ferb could get Phineas to chew and swallow was if he kissed him first. Any other form of force feeding only led to the redhead spitting out the food. He tried not to notice the feel of those pink lips against his. This was purely for feeding, he reminded himself.

The tears were coming harder now but he could feel Phineas chewing beneath his hand and he smiled encouragingly. "That's it, Phin, keep going. Swallow, now. You can do it."

He swallowed and made a face, gagging. Ferb removed his hand, picking up the spoon again. He felt like he'd run a marathon and all he had succeeded in doing was getting his brother to eat one mouthful. "One more, that's it..." he coaxed, dipping the spoon in the bowl before holding it to Phineas' lips.

"Please, I don't want to eat anymore," the redhead whispered brokenly.

"You can't keep doing this, Phin," Ferb sighed, taking advantage of the boy's open lips to shove the spoon inside. His brother made a high pitched noise and squirmed. "Don't you dare spit that out, Phineas Flynn," he added, his tone sharp and commanding.

He pulled the spoon out and covered his brother's mouth with his hand quickly, leaving the boy no time to try and get the food out of his mouth. "Chew. Please, chew."

Phineas was still, glaring up at him. The look in his eyes told Ferb that he wouldn't chew willingly. With a groan, the green-haired boy replaced his hand with his mouth, pressing their lips together hard. "Chew!" he snarled against Phineas' mouth, and he was finally obeyed.

When the mouthful was swallowed, before Ferb could pull away, Phineas opened his mouth again, turning the lip-lock from a feeding tool to an actual kiss. The older teen shuddered, torn between continuing and pulling back. After a few seconds he listened to reason, yanking away and meeting his brother's glare with one of his own. "Don't try to distract me, Phineas. You're going to eat and that's final."

Thirty minutes later, after much crying, squirming, screaming, fighting and kissing, the bowl was finally empty. Phineas sniffled a bit as Ferb let him go, but he didn't bolt. Instead he turned and buried his face into his brother's neck, shaking. Ferb wrapped his arms around the boy's tiny waist, feeling soft red hair tickle his chin. "I'm sorry, Phin, but you know I had to."

"I hate you," was the sobbed reply, small hands fisting in his shirt.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, closing his eyes and feeling as if his brother had stabbed him in the chest. "I love you, I'm sorry."

Despite how bad he felt, despite how much it hurt to see Phineas crying and sobbing and screaming, he knew it would just all be repeated at the next meal time. He tightened his hold on his brother. "I'm sorry."

Xoxoxo

_Bulldozer _

Baljeet stood outside the large dingy building, scared to enter, scared not to. He didn't know what he'd find in there. Well, he sort of did. But he really hoped he wouldn't find what he thought he would. Which would be his boyfriend passed out in a puddle of his own blood.

He took a breath, let it out, barely noticing the way it misted in the freezing night air. He was decked out in a warm coat, fuzzy gloves and a snug scarf wrapped tightly around his neck. He even had a woolen beanie to protect his head from the cold. Even with all this clothing, he was still shivering.

A hand pressed onto his shoulder, warm and comforting. He turned and was greeted by a set of unwavering green eyes. "He really wants you there, you know," Ferb told him calmly.

"I know," Baljeet hesitated, unsure if he should really talk. Ferb and Buford were so close, it seemed like Ferb was solely Buford's counselor, and unloading his problems on the green-haired man would feel like he was... stepping on Buford's territory or something. He let out a short laugh at his own thoughts, shaking his head. God, what the hell was he even on about? Yes, Buford was a possessive bastard, but only over Baljeet.

Ferb was giving him a strange look, probably because of his random laugh, so Baljeet turned back towards the building, hiding the blush that rose to his cheeks. "I just do not want to see him hurt. I do not think I could handle that."

"He comes home bruised and battered every weekend, you already see him hurt," Ferb stepped up beside him so their shoulders were brushing. Or, they would have been if Baljeet weren't so damn short. Even at twenty-four years old, he was still shorter than all his male friends, even Phineas. It infuriated him to no end, and of course Buford just had to tease him about it. Constantly.

"I see the results. I do not want to see what caused it," he snapped without meaning to. Guilt washed away the slight anger he had been feeling and he dropped his gaze to the ground in shame. "I am sorry. It is just... I have seen him in fights before. It tore me apart to see him hurt and know I could not do anything to help."

"Do you even pay any attention to him at all?" Ferb asked, the slightest tinge of humor added to his voice. "He's a fucking bulldozer, 'Jeet. He never gets seriously hurt. He's one of the best boxers in the damn country."

"All it takes is one badly aimed punch..."

"Seriously, Baljeet, just go inside," Ferb's tone was a strange mix of understanding gentleness and commanding annoyance.

"Fine," he huffed. "Is Phineas going to be here?"

"He's already inside," Ferb chuckled. He no doubt knew why Baljeet had asked. The youngest and smallest of the group, Baljeet and Phineas, were also the most squeamish. If they watched a gore movie or anything of the like, one didn't even have to glance their way to know they were holding hands tightly and doing their best not to puke.

Baljeet needed Phineas' comforting hand in his if he was going to watch Buford get the shit beaten out of him, or vice versa.

He let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding and stepped forward. Ferb held the door open for him and it brought a slight smile to his face before they both went inside. He was too preoccupied by his nerves to take any note of his surroundings. Ferb guided him with a gentle grip on his elbow and soon he was being pushed to sit down beside Phineas, who gave him a smile only slightly less sickly than the one Baljeet was wearing.

"Ready to see some blood?" he joked weakly. "I can never understand why this gets Buford so pumped up all the time."

"If he expects sex after this, he is completely wrong," Baljeet was already reaching out, entwining their gloved fingers and squeezing tight. Ferb sat on the other side of his step brother and wrapped a casual arm around his shoulder.

He knew the moment Buford stepped into the room. It was if the atmosphere had been electrified, and all the fine hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He gulped and turned his attention to the ring in the center of the room, seeking out dark blue eyes and holding them. His mouth went dry when his boyfriend quirked a sexy grin and waved, obviously happy to see him there. He waved back, not as enthusiastic, trying not to think about the amount of blood his lover might lose in the next few minutes.

He instead tried to focus on how much he loved the man who was moving around the ring with domineering confidence, how attracted he was to the thickly muscled body, so much larger and taller than his own. How it felt to have that body over his, touching his, inside his. A fleeting blush lit his face as his free hand rose to loosen the scarf around his neck. His previous statement of no sex might end up being a lie.

And then all arousal drained from his body when the bell dinged and the first swing was made. He attempted to force himself to watch but after Buford took a particularly nasty fist to the gut, he turned his face into Phineas' shoulder, nudging away Ferb's arm, which had been in the way. "I am going to hurl," he muttered weakly. He received a weak chuckle from Phineas, who was no doubt feeling just as nauseous as he was, and felt his hand squeezed. Ferb, who now had no idea what to do with his arm, rested half of it around Phineas' shoulders and let his hand rest on top of Baljeet's beanie.

"And we have our winner! Buford Van Stomm!"

"Told you," Ferb muttered to him. "He's the best in the fucking country."

Xoxoxo

_Science_

"You have got to be kidding me."

Vanessa surveyed the two men in front of her, arms crossed over her chest. To say she was shocked would be a huge understatement. But then again, she should be used to her father's random and at some times completely demented actions. Still, walking in on Heinz making out with a stranger- a hot MALE stranger at that- did cause her to do a bit of a double-take.

"Vanessa!" Heinz chuckled nervously, pulling away from the smaller man who he'd been kissing, quite passionately she might add. "You've, ah, you've met Perry..."

"Yes, I've met Perry," she said slowly, as if talking to a child. She found herself using that voice more and more with her father lately. Honestly, it was hard to tell who was the parent and who was the child anymore. "But Perry is a secret agent platypus. This is a random man I've never seen before in my life."

"Well, they're kinda one and the same these days," he scratched the back of his neck, looking rattled. The teal-haired man beside him looked calm and collected, as if this sort of thing happened all the time.

"You're telling me Perry got, like, human-ized or something?" Vanessa asked doubtfully, eyeing the man. He was short, probably her height, with intense chocolate brown eyes, framed by long lashes, that stared her down almost in challenge, as if he were daring her not to believe her father. He was dressed simply, black and white converse shoes, dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt, followed by a black jacket. His face wasn't traditionally handsome, more feminine than masculine, but he was certainly pretty, especially with those teal locks falling almost to his shoulders.

"Yup!" her father answered cheerfully, completely oblivious to the fact she no longer had any idea what went through his mind anymore. Seriously, he turns his nemesis into a human and then makes out with him? What's even up with that?

"How?" she asked curiously.

"Science," Heinz winked, one arm going around Perry's shoulder. The smaller man looked up at him, his expression a mixture of exasperation and fondness.

"Sheesh, how long has this been going on?" she almost gagged at the affection between them. Seriously, it was like... bestiality or something. Kind of. Not really. It still seemed wrong to her.

"A few months," Perry answered her this time, his voice rich and deep. It didn't match his pretty features but it matched the intensity of his eyes. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you sooner."

"I expected a step-mother," Vanessa frowned at Heinz. "Not a... step-platypus."

"He can still take you out shopping if that's what you want," he answered, completely clueless. I resisted the urge to smack my forehead with my palm, or better yet, smack his face with my palm.

"I never agreed to this," Perry blinked at him.

Vanessa felt a grin form on her face. Perry and her father had fought for so long, some of it would still remain, even in a relationship. Or whatever... THAT... was. Even if it was just playful banter, she could always use it to her advantage. Having someone else there to help her gang up on her father _would _make her visits more humourous.

"Yeah, Dad, why don't you ask your lover before you volunteer his services?" she smirked, catching Perry's eye and winking. He looked perplexed for a minute before smiling at her.

"You can be so inconsiderate sometimes, Heinz," Perry scolded, for all the world looking absolutely serious, but Vanessa could see the amused twinkle in his eye.

"Woah- what?" Heinz retracted his arm, holding up his hands in defense, probably wondering why they were ganging up on him. Vanessa resisted the urge to laugh. Maybe having Perry around more often wouldn't be so bad. And maybe her father wouldn't be so damn depressing all the time if he was with someone.

Perry, it seemed, couldn't hold back his chuckles. He covered his mouth with one finely boned hand, eyes crinkled. Vanessa looked on in fascinated revulsion as her father caught him up in a tight embrace and kissed him as some sort of twisted punishment. She didn't understand why it was a punishment until she saw Perry's face. It was bright red and he looked at her almost shyly. Ah, so he hated PDA. Now she got it.

She grinned back at him as Heinz, who had absolutely no problem with public displays of affection, kissed him again. One hand went to cup the back of the agent's neck and the other wound it's way around the slim waist. Perry's hands curled in Heinz's shirt, seeming to alternate between pulling the man closer and attempting to push him away.

She waited for them to pull apart but they didn't, so she made a gagging noise. "I'm taking the car, Dad. Might as well go see Johnny."

She pretended to be disgusted by it as she snatched up her father's keys and exited his apartment, and maybe she _was_ a little grossed out, but she was still happy for him. Perry was a good match. She just hoped she would never walk in on anything like that again.

Xoxoxo

**Because fuck science, lets make animals into humans. **

**So, my personal favourite was _Food_, but that's just because disorders like that (I'm assuming that's a disorder) kind of fascinate me. It's weird, I know. **

**Sorry for how late this was, I've been caught up with my Secrets series. If any of you read that, you might be able to tell _Bulldozer _was loosely based on it. You know, with the whole Buford/Ferb best friend thing. I don't know why, but I just love the bromance between them. **

**Review? Reviewers get banana milkshake! BANANA MILKSHAKE!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, so it's been like, what, months? A very long time. A very, very long time since I've updated. I want to apologize profusely for this, because I know how much it sucks when a story suddenly goes dead. I've had a lot going on lately (mainly to do with school) and I haven't had much time to write. And even when I do write, I've started writing Real-Person Fanfiction, which is as disturbing as it is fun. Anyone heard of Emblem3? **

**Favourite band, right there. I normally don't write fanfiction about people who are, you know, actually real... but they're all so cute! Anyway, I've written like two huge one shots and a few small ones and I can't freakin' post them because no internet and you can't post Real-Person Fanfiction on here, apparently.**

**But I'm desperate for feedback. If anyone wants to read my Emblem3 stuff, I'll love you forever. And probably give you previews for this/another one of my P&F stories or something. Anyone? Any takers? PM me or review in? I'd love you so much?**

**Anyway, **

**Enjoy!**

Xoxoxo

_Hair_

Phineas squirmed in his seat, throwing a pleading look at his brother as best he could without moving his head. Ferb stood in the doorway, watching everything with an amused smile, not at all sympathetic.

"Stop squirming, Phineas!" Isabella chided softly. She was standing in between Phineas' open legs, looking rather intimidating holding a pair of scissors and glaring at him.

"M-Maybe I should just get Mum to cut my hair," Phineas suggested weakly, staring at the scissors with wary eyes.

"Don't be silly, I need my hair cutting patch and your hair is much too long," she leaned forward and began to snip away.

The teenaged boy sat stock still for two reasons as little tufts of red hair floated down to the ground. The first was that he was afraid to move lest he be accidentally stabbed, and the second was Isabella's chest was directly in his face and her shirt was a little... low-cut. He could feel his face burning as he tried to avert his eyes, and somewhere deep down he knew she was doing this on purpose, despite how fervently he wished she would just back off. Every time he managed to convince himself she was just being friendly, something like this happened.

"Uhm, Isa..." he started in a voice that was far too high pitched to belong to a boy post-puberty.

"Yes, Phineas?" she asked in her sweetest voice, shifting ever so slightly.

He could hear Ferb stifling his chuckles, though he couldn't see because he had this annoying chest in his way. He cleared his throat, knowing his face was bright red. Ferb was enjoying his torture... he'd have to get him back later.

"Erm..." he struggled for a way to express himself without embarrassing her. "Aren't you a little... cold...?"

"Not at all," she chirped, letting out a small giggle. She leaned over and breathed into Phineas' ear, "you know, in some cultures, when a woman cuts a man's hair it's a vow of marriage."

He jerked without thinking, shocked at the sheer audacity of her statement. She had anticipated this and moved the scissors away, so he wasn't hurt. Her laugh was loud and teasing. "I'm joking, I'm joking."

"Are you done?" he whined after a few minutes, knowing he sounded pathetic. He didn't care. He wanted out of that damn chair and away from this woman and her provocative ways.

"Almost," she giggled, moving around so she was behind him and beginning to cut the back of his head. He was relieved her chest wasn't in his face anymore, and his eyes automatically travelled over to his brother. The green-haired teen was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest and an arrogant smirk on his face. It only grew when Phineas glared at him.

He glanced down and saw how much hair had dropped to the floor and onto his lap. "Good God, woman, are you shearing me bald?"

"Oh please, that's nothing," she paused for a moment before stepping back. "All done. Turn and look at me."

He did as she said, rising out of the chair and brushing hair off his lap. She reached up and ruffled his damp hair, inspecting it. "Okay, you look respectable, and I think I just got my hair cutting patch."

"Thanks, Isabella," he smiled and gave her a hug, despite the fact the entire experience had been mentally scarring and he'd do his best to make sure it was never repeated.

"You're welcome!" she returned the hug before grinning at him. "I'm going to go get the patch and add it to my sash. I'll see you boys later."

She nodded at Ferb, who returned it lazily, and then she hurried out of the room, leaving Phineas to sag against the kitchen counter and sigh in relief. Since Isabella was gone, Ferb didn't hold back, laughing loudly at his smaller step-brother. "You should have seen your face."

Phineas waited for him to finish, watching with mild distaste. "You're a right bastard sometimes, you know that?"

"Oh, come now," Ferb strode over, green eyes glinting with humor. "I thought you were enjoying it. Why, those ripe, rounded breasts, right there for your viewing pleasure..."

The redhead wrinkled his nose in disgust, shoving his brother when he came into range. "Ferb! That's gross. And disrespectful to Isabella."

"She was flaunting them," he shrugged once he recovered from the push, reaching out to capture his step-brother's chin in a gentle yet firm grip. "Women can't expect us not to speak of them if they flaunt them."

"Change the subject," Phineas shuddered in horror, "before I end up throwing up."

"Well, we can't have that," Ferb chuckled, leaning forward and closing the gap between them. The kiss was soft, and Phineas yielded without complaint, enjoying the warmth shimmering just below the surface. The green-haired teen's hand, which had been holding his chin in place, moved to cup his cheek, thumb feathering over pale skin. When they parted, all arrogance and embarrassment and playfulness had drained from both of them, leaving behind a pleasant comfort, both of them smiling at each other. "How's that for changing the subject?"

"Perfect," a grin flickered around his lips, having immediately been cheered up by the kiss.

"So, when are you going to get around to telling her that you're unavailable and uninterested?" Ferb asked casually, never once stopping his gentle stroking of the redhead's face.

The grin faded, replaced by an annoyed frown. His taller step-brother ran one finger over the slight lines formed by the frown, but Phineas didn't let up. "I don't know, Ferb. I'm not ready."

"As amusing as it is to see you so embarrassed when she flirts with you, it still upsets me a little," green hair tickled Phineas' chin as his brother leaned down to press a kiss to his throat.

"If we tell her, she might tell everyone," he closed his eyes, tilting his head to give more access, enjoying the feeling of warm lips brushing his neck. "I don't think I'd be able to handle that so soon."

"And yet here we are, being intimate in the kitchen when anyone could walk in," Ferb chuckled. The redhead pushed him away, seeing the sense in his words, and he glanced quickly to every opening in the room, checking no one was there watching them.

"Not now," he murmured. Upon seeing the slight disappointment on his brother's face, he sighed and added, "soon. We'll tell her soon. Just give me a week or so to prepare mentally."

"A week, then," Ferb took his hand gracefully, brought it to his mouth. "I'll hold you to that."

"Hey!" he felt his cheeks flush in both embarrassment and pleasure even as he tugged his hand away. "Why am I the female here?"

"Because you're both shorter and skinnier," Ferb tugged him in, pressing their bodies together to emphasize his point.

"Well, maybe I want to be the man, ever think about that?" Phineas grabbed his brother's hand and pressed a kiss to it, knowing he'd been about as graceful as a dump truck. He felt silly, but he didn't let it show, instead staring determinedly into Ferb's eyes. "There. Now I'm the man."

"Oh, so it's decided by who kisses the other's hand?" the green-haired teen chuckled, not bothering to tug his hand away. "Well, I'm certainly okay with being the female. They get all the benefits. Which reminds me, the next time Mum asks us to bring the groceries in, I'll get you to carry in all the heavy stuff, seeing as you're the man."

Phineas pouted at him. "Okay, I give. You can be the man."

"That's what I thought."

Xoxoxo

_Comfort_

The abandoned corridor of his high school was eerily silent, echoing each noise and sending it back tenfold. He tried to be as quiet as possible, lightening his footsteps and barely breathing, eyes darting around, searching every nook and crevice. He hadn't wanted to be here, in his school in the evening. But he'd forgotten his big biology project that was due tomorrow, and he was not going to miss out on a grade just because this place was kind of scary at night.

The janitors were always working late into the evening- due to how unclean the school was by the end of the day- and they were willing to let in any students who had a reasonable excuse. Baljeet Rai reached his locker and put in the combination, the sound of the metal opening loud in the large corridor.

He spotted his project right at the back and lifted his arm to grab it. Before he could, one large pink hand shot out of nowhere and slammed his locker closed, shocking him so badly he almost screamed. As it was he let out a high pitched yelp and spun around, only to come face to face with one of the school's footballers, a teen that Baljeet had never spoken to, and the blond haired giant was sneering at him. "What're ya doing back here, nerd?"

"J-Just... getting something I forgot..." his voice was strained with fear. His breath hitched when the footballer stepped closer, lifting his other arm and pressing it against the lockers behind Baljeet, effectively trapping him. He had half a mind to scream for the janitors, but he knew they wouldn't hear him. They'd all be polishing the cafeteria floors by now, which was not only on the other side of the building complex, but the machines they used were loud.

"You shouldn't be here," the boy snarled. "This is my turf after dark."

"I am sorry," he tried, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. His mouth was dry. He swore his heart was beating loud enough for the whole Tri-State Area to hear. "I will leave, and I will not come back after dark..."

"It's too late," the blond chuckled. It didn't make him seem any less terrifying. "You're going to have to pay me for trespassing."

"I do not have any money on me," Baljeet's eyes flickered to each side, looking for a way out.

"It's not money I want," the boy smirked. Baljeet stared at him uncomprehendingly until one of the hands caging him in slid down and grazed over his ass. He stifled a gasp and jerked away. The footballer let out a laugh and shook his head, murmuring, "come now, stay still for me."

He didn't listen, darting to the side and attempting to run. The other hand shot out and grasped him by the throat, yanking him back and slamming him into the hard metal of the lockers. The grip on his throat tightened. Hot breath feathered over his face as the blond leaned in, eyes narrowed in hate. "You're not going anywhere."

When he felt the button of his jeans being unfastened, he closed his eyes and screamed, the high pitched sound echoing throughout the hallway. He screamed and screamed, not stopping for breath until his lungs were burning, and then he gasped out a choking sob. Hands were on his shoulders, shaking him roughly. Someone was shouting at him but he couldn't make out words.

Baljeet's eyes snapped open, and he was no longer the terrified sixteen year old being raped in the abandoned school hallways. He was a terrified twenty four year old, lying in his own bed, shaking from fear and memories. He wanted to scream again but his throat was sore, so he settled for another sob. He became aware of the fact someone was with him, the person who'd been shaking him. They were no longer doing so, but they were still speaking, and Baljeet tried to listen.

"...It's okay, it was just a dream, 'Jeet. You're okay..."

He felt tears sting his eyes and slide down his face. The man in front of him was holding onto his shoulders, speaking in a soothing tone. Baljeet opened his arms, needing comfort, and Buford pulled him in, settling the smaller man on his lap and rocking him gently. "He's gone now. He can't ever get to you again. It's okay..."

Baljeet buried his face in the crook of Buford's neck, sobbing out his pain and misery. Even after all these years, he was still plagued by nightmares. When he'd gotten together with his old high school bully, they'd receded and he'd assumed they were gone forever. But now, the night after the brunet had proposed, they'd come rushing back. He couldn't believe he'd managed to ruin such a special night by reliving the worst moment of his life in his dreams.

"I-I am sorry," he choked out, trying to convey how guilty he felt. How horrible it was to force Buford through this. It wasn't the first time Buford had suffered because of Baljeet. Back when they'd first started dating, the Indian hadn't been able to handle being touched. It had taken them a long time to work through that, and he'd thought the bully would just leave because he wasn't getting any action. But he'd stayed and they'd grown so much closer.

"Don't you dare apologize," Buford's lips were pressed against his temple, speaking against his skin. Only a year ago, being touched like this after a nightmare would have been too much, but now it was okay. As long as it was Buford. "None of this is your fault. You hear me? None of it."

Baljeet hiccuped, his terror slowly fading to be replaced by a dull ache in his chest. He moved closer to the large warm body holding his own, relaxing into the embrace. The tears slowed.

"Repeat after me," Buford instructed sternly. "This is not my fault."

"Th-This is..." he started, only to be interrupted by an uncontrollable sob.

"This is not my fault," Buford repeated.

"This is not m-my fault..." he whispered, shivering in the cool night air. His partner drew the blankets over them both and he felt instantly warmer. The tears finally stopped.

"Are you alright?" a finger touched his chin, tilted it upwards so he was staring into concerned blue eyes.

"I am alright," he confirmed, sniffing a little and wiping at his face. Buford helped, rubbing the moisture off of his cheeks.

"Good," Buford pressed a soft kiss to his trembling lips, staying there and letting the shaken man calm. The bully pulled back after a moment, eyes narrowing. "We've been over this before, you know. You need to stop feeling guilty. I don't give a fuck if you wake me up in the middle of the night with your screaming, every night for the rest of our lives. As long as I get to be with you, I don't care."

"But-"

"I don't give a flying fuck if some nights we can have sex, and some nights you can't handle it. I love you, you idiot. I don't care. It's not your fault, it's his," Buford tightened his grip ever so slightly.

Baljeet shivered at the mention of his rapist and glanced down, ashamed that he had annoyed Buford with his guilt. "Okay," he said softly, knowing the words 'I am sorry' would only piss off the larger man further. "I love you, too."

"I know," the bully laid them both back down and let Baljeet cuddle up to him, wrapping his large arms around the smaller body. "Let's just go back to sleep."

Baljeet rested his head over the man's chest, letting the dull rhythm of his heartbeat lull him back to sleep. He felt loved and cherished, knowing his partner would repeat this kind of comfort any time he needed it. He waited until Buford's snores filled the quiet room before whispering, "thank you."

Xoxoxo

_Attached_

"You're being silly, you know."

"Probably," Phineas agreed reluctantly, staring down at the open and currently empty suitcase lying on his bed.

Isabella gave a huffed sigh and sat down next to the item so Phineas was forced to look at her, and her blue eyes were sympathetic but unamused. Her mouth was pursed into a frown that told the redhead she was sick of his moodiness. "Phin, you've been accepted for the internship of a life time, you should be happy."

"I know!" he wanted to shout the words, so much frustration- and yes, a little fear- bubbling up until there was a great big hole in his chest, greedily sucking up all his happiness until he was an angry, upset mess. But he couldn't shout because his brother was just in the other room and he didn't want to worry him. "I know I should be happy, but god damn it, it's on the other side of the fucking country."

Isabella was silent a few moments, her eyes narrowed in thought. They soon widened in realization and locked on his own, and he knew she understood. "It's Ferb, isn't it?"

There was no point in lying. Ever since they were kids, she'd always seen right through him. Instead, he pushed a hand through his short hair and heaved a sigh. "Yeah. It's him."

She smiled and reached out, touching his arm with the lightest of pats before pulling away again. They still couldn't touch each other without it being awkward since they'd broken up, but he appreciated her attempt. "Oh, Phineas. Why don't you just say something to him?"

"What am I supposed to say?" he asked in a defeated tone, turning around to walk over to the floor length mirror and stare at his reflection. Tired blue eyes and shocking red hair greeted him, as always. He reached out and pressed his hand against the glass, meeting Isabella's eyes through the mirror as he did so. "I've been a total dick for the last month because I have to leave you and I don't want to?"

"Something like that," the ravenette's lips twitched into a grin, but it faded when Phineas only frowned in annoyance. Sighing, she looked down at her lap. "You two have always been attached at the hip, you know. Maybe he'll decide to come with you."

"He has a job here that he loves," Phineas reminded her harshly, brows drawing together angrily. "He's not going to up and leave just because I have issues."

"Look," Isabella's voice lost it's gentleness and took on a hard tone. "You'll only be gone for two years, three tops. Every holiday you can come back and visit him, and he can visit you every now and again. You'll still be able to text each other, call each other and even skype each other. And when your internship is over, you can request to work in the Tri-State Area so you'll be reunited with him. It's not the end of the world."

"I know all that," Phineas mumbled, a little ashamed at how whiny he'd gotten. Isabella was right, of course, but it was still hard to accept that for a minimum of two years, he wouldn't be able to see Ferb every single day.

"What are you worried about, exactly?" Isabella asked. "That you won't be as close as you used to be?"

"I guess so," he shrugged, because that was part of it.

"Think about it this way," the ravenette told him. "If you come back and your relationship isn't the same, then it wasn't a very healthy relationship to start with, considering it needed constant attachment to work."

Phineas shot her a dirty glare. "That's not very comforting, Isa."

"If you love something, let it go," the girl quoted with a raised eyebrow. "If it still loves you when you get back, it's your's."

This was enough to draw a reluctant chuckle from him, and he sat down next to her on the bed, giving her a tired smile. "I suppose two to three years isn't that long when you think about it."

"There we go!" Isabella grinned and even gave him a short applause. "There's that smile I've been waiting for."

"Thanks, Isa," he touched her shoulder, forced himself not to wince at the awkwardness. "Seriously, thanks. I've only got another two days until I leave, and I probably would have spent it moping if you hadn't done this."

"Happy to help," she glanced down at the still unpacked suitcase next to her and her lips twitched into a warm smile. "How about I pack your things for you, and you go spend some time with your step-brother?"

"You really don't have to-" he tried to refuse, but she was already pushing him off the bed and towards the door.

"Go on! Only two days, remember?" she gave him a huge grin. "Carpe Diem, Phin. Make the most of it."

He gave in with a laugh and a shake of the head, but paused at the door in order to look back at her. "Thanks, Isa. Really."

"You're welcome," she made a shooing motion with her hand. "Go get him."

So he did.

Xoxoxo

_Cuddles_

Buford had always been a rather hands on kind of guy. Even when they were younger and love didn't exist, the hulk of a boy would always be touching Baljeet in some way- a noogie, a wedgie, a pat on the shoulder. And when they got older and went through puberty, those touches stayed frequent, but changed ever so slowly. Baljeet didn't really notice until it became blindingly obvious.

"Erm, what are you doing?"

"What's it look like I'm doin'?"

Baljeet didn't dare turn around to face the boy who'd just wrapped his thick arms around the smaller teen's waist and pressed into him from behind, effectively pinning him against the kitchen counter. His hands were frozen, hovering above a bowl of perfectly measured flour and baking soda, and he honestly couldn't remember what the hell he'd been making.

"I am not entirely sure what it looks like," Baljeet said slowly, knowing one wrong word would probably earn him a punch to the gut. "Considering I am unable to turn around to look."

Buford chuckled and rested his chin on the other's shoulder, and the weight wasn't as un-welcomed as Baljeet had expected it to be. It felt nice. Secure. Safe. Funny how he could feel safe in this brute's presence when Buford was the one who pushed him around all the time. Granted, it was always playful and never actually hurt him, but still...

"What're ya makin'?" Buford asked, lifting one hand from around Baljeet's waist to poke at the bowl of flour and baking soda experimentally. "Some kinda treat?"

"Uh," his mind was completely blank, so his eyes flickered over to the recipe book, and reading the name sparked the memory in his brain. "Chocolate chip cookies."

Stupid, stupid, stupid. How on earth had he managed to forget that?

"Awesome," the other eighteen year old replied, tightening his grip on the smaller boy ever so slightly. "I'll have to get a few once you're done."

Licking his lips nervously, Baljeet slowly pulled the recipe book over, trying to act nonchalant when his heart was pounding like crazy. "Uh, Buford?"

"Mm?" the bully hummed, seemingly content to just stand there with his arms wrapped around the other, despite the fact that it greatly hindered the Indian's movements and made it hard to continue with his baking.

"Why are you..." he cleared his throat, searching for the right words. "Why are you, ah, cuddling me?"

"Because I want to," was the simple reply he got. "Why, you gotta problem with that?"

"No!" Baljeet denied hastily, his voice far too high pitched for a boy post puberty. "I was just wondering, that is all..."

"Good, then," Buford paused. "Well, go on then. Continue with your girly baking."

"Oh..." Baljeet turned his attention back to the waiting bowl in front of him, but he only stared at it blankly, unable to figure out what he was supposed to do with it. A frown twisted his lips and he gave a heaved sigh. "I give up. I shall just use the cookie dough I got from the store."

"Uh, 'Jeet?" Buford's voice held a tinge of laughter. "I kinda ate that."

Baljeet considered getting angry but decided against it. There was no getting mad at this boy- it was completely pointless. He'd just find it hilarious. "You are paying me back for it."

"How about I help you out here, then?" Buford's hands touched the backs of his own and guided them towards the bowl. "It's not that hard, really. I don't see how you're finding this difficult."

But Baljeet wasn't listening. His eyes were on their hands, his mind lingering on the fact his cheeks were flamed red and he was having trouble breathing properly.

He was in trouble.

Xoxoxo

_Wreak_

He couldn't figure out for the life of him how exactly Heinz had gotten his private number, nor how long the scientist had had it. Perhaps he'd known everything about him all along- where he lived, what his number was, who Perry's family were- and he hadn't done a thing about it. The former monotreme appreciated that. His family was the one line he didn't want Heinz to cross. Still, it'd been a shock when he'd answered his phone, expecting it to be Major Monogram or Carl with another mission, only to hear a hysterical voice on the other line.

He hadn't gotten much out of the conversation, only sobbed babbling about Danville hospital and something about Heinz's daughter. Perry knew he had no obligation to go to the mad scientist, and yet he found himself going to Ferb anyway. Because he was genuinely worried about his nemesis. Their rivalry was a strange one, and too many feelings had developed from it if he really thought about it. But he didn't like to think about it that much. It made his stomach feel funny.

Ferb had been fine with driving Perry to the hospital, and the former semi aquatic mammal didn't bother to get him to leave once they'd arrived. Heinz obviously knew about his family anyway, what harm could it do? So the two men, one with shocking green hair and one with silky teal hair, entered the large building together.

They'd never really talked much- Ferb was always a quiet guy and Perry wasn't used to his voice despite being human for over two years now- and that day was no exception. No words were spoken as Ferb pointed down hallways and guided the somewhat baffled Perry through the hospital. He'd never been in one before and he had no idea where he was going or what he was doing.

None of that mattered when they found Heinz. The first thing Perry noticed was that the scientist was sitting outside of a hospital room, bent over with his head buried in his hands. A woman was standing in front of him, trying to talk to him, but he refused to respond, not moving except for the shaking of his frame that hinted towards the crying he was probably doing.

When Ferb and Perry approached, the woman looked up at them with weary eyes and crossed her arms. She took them a little way away from Heinz, out of hearing range, and frowned at them. "Family, I suppose?"

The two men glanced at each other but didn't say anything. Figuring it was best to just go along with it, Perry nodded once.

"Good, maybe you can get Mr Doofenshmirtz here to go home and get some rest," the woman said shortly.

"Dr Doofenshmirtz," Perry murmured.

"Excuse me?"

"Dr Doofenshmirtz, that's his title," the teal haired man told her.

"Ah," she glanced back at Heinz, who hadn't moved an inch, and nodded. "I see."

"What happened?" Ferb asked calmly, his face blank.

"Vanessa, his daughter, was in a car accident," the woman's voice softened slightly. "She's in a coma now and we're not sure if she'll pull through. But Dr Doofenshmirtz has been here for over two days and hasn't left once. He needs a decent meal, a shower and some rest."

"Did you say Vanessa?" Ferb's face finally cracked, and worry creeped into his expression. Perry vaguely remembered that the boy had known his nemesis' daughter. "Can I see her?"

"Of course," the woman gestured towards the door and Ferb quickly strode into the room, leaving Perry to stand there awkwardly. The woman looked at him. "Perhaps you can talk some sense into her father. He's been hysterical since he got here."

"I'll try," Perry shrugged one shoulder, not all that sure he could do much about anything. Sure, Heinz had called him here, but the doctor was more likely to attack him or tell him to get lost than anything else. He approached his nemesis cautiously, like he would a wild animal, and gently placed a hand on the man's shoulder. "Doof?"

Heinz jerked immediately at the sound of his voice and looked up at him, watery blue eyes widening. It took just a second but abruptly the man was throwing himself at Perry, wrapping long, gangly arms around the shorter, stockier figure and clinging to him tightly. "She's hurt! Oh god, oh god, they won't let me help, they won't let me do anything, I can't do anything and she's dying and-"

"Heinz," Perry cut off the hysterical rant with the soft but stern word, returning the tight hug but rather awkwardly. He'd received hugs before of course- Phineas was prone to grabbing him at random moments and squeezing him- but never from his nemesis. It was awkward and weird but also strangely comforting. "Vanessa is going to be fine."

"You don't know that-"

"The OWCA has some of the best medical teams on standby if we ever need it," Perry told him quietly, well aware of the fact he was giving away secrets to his nemesis of all people. "I can call them right now and make sure your daughter is getting the best treatment available."

"Thanks," Heinz slumped a little, his body dragging Perry's down slightly and he noticed that the scientist was a little skinnier than usual. The bags under his eyes were ten times worse and while he didn't reek, he wasn't exactly the freshest smelling person in the world either.

"No problem," Perry deposited him back onto the plastic seat and touched his shoulder, not really willing to relinquish the tentative and warm connection they'd been sharing. "Listen, after I make the call I'm going to drive you back to your apartment and you can get some rest. Its no good if you make yourself sick as well."

Heinz looked ready to argue but one piercing glare had the mad scientist shutting his mouth quickly and nodding. "Alright, but can you actually drive?"

"I've... had lessons," Perry neglected to mention he'd almost crashed the car three times in one day and had nearly given Phineas a heart attack. "Give me a minute."

He went down the hall a little and called up the OWCA on his cell. Despite their reservations, they agreed to help. Perry knew Major Monogram had a soft spot for Heinz- they'd helped him when it had come to Vanessa before. And despite the fact they were supposed to be enemies, all of them were far too friendly with Heinz for their own good. Maybe if they were smart they'd leave the Doofenshmirtz family on their own and not bother to help.

Perry didn't want to be smart.

Once he'd finished he went into the room briefly to tell Ferb where he was going and to check on Vanessa. The brunette girl was lost to the world, but she seemed stable, despite the various tubes connected to her body and the cuts and bruises that littered her skin. Perry felt a twinge of pity and sympathy when he watched Heinz cradle his daughter's hand in his own and kiss the knuckles, whispering to her in a low voice. "I'll be back soon. Get better."

The ride back to the apartment was silent, and Perry was proud to say he didn't hit anyone once, or crash the car. Once inside the building, the former monotreme pushed his nemesis towards the bathroom. "Go take a shower, I'll make you something to eat."

Heinz slumped off, too much of a wreck to argue, and Perry rifled through the kitchen before settling on a simple ham sandwich. He didn't want to accidentally burn the building down- because no matter how many times Ferb tried to teach him, he was terrible at cooking- so he didn't bother doing anything more fancy than that. Heinz didn't seem to mind when he returned with damp hair and smelling fresh.

"Thank you," he murmured dully when Perry handed him the sandwich, and he ate it rather mechanically, dropping down onto the couch and switching on the tv.

"You should get some rest, you know," the teal-haired man said once the sandwich had been finished, and Heinz showed no signs of leaving.

"I don't want to," the scientist shook his head. "Everytime I close my eyes I see her when they first pulled her out of the car wreck and I just... I just..."

His voice hitched and he buried his face in his hands, much like he was when Perry first saw him. The former platypus shifted a little closer on the couch and wrapped an arm around his nemesis' shoulder, not saying a word but making little hushing noises Linda used to make when the boys were small and upset.

It felt weird when Heinz turned into him and buried his face into Perry's shoulder, but he wasn't exactly going to push him away. The man needed support, and the teal-haired man was the only one there to give it. They stayed like that until the scientist began to drop off, and Perry managed to carry him into the bedroom (he was heavy, but no exceedingly so, and Perry's training meant he was pretty strong anyway) and set him down on the bed.

Unable to stop himself, he brushed a stand of brunet hair away from Heinz's forehead while the other slumbered on peacefully. It seemed Perry would do anything for him. If it meant giving away OWCA secrets to make this man happy, he'd do it. If it meant crossing the carefully drawn out line of nemeses, he'd do it.

And strangely, he was okay with that.

Xoxoxo

**I apologize for the short length, guys. I've lost a bit of steam with my Phineas and Ferb writing because I haven't done it in ages. But hopefully that'll turn around soon enough. I don't know how often this will be updated, but I'll try to be more frequent from now on. Only sixteen more words to go (that means three more chapters and then one huge chapter at the end for the final word!) and I'm excited but also rather sad this is drawing to a close.**

**Thanks guys for reading, once again I'm sorry for the huge wait, and I'd love it if you'd review.**

**And if anyone is interested in the Emblem3 thing, please please please PM me about it!**


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